


Crimson Tears

by HoneycombJin



Category: VIXX
Genre: EXO are side characters, Other, angel au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 14:28:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 37,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11899677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneycombJin/pseuds/HoneycombJin
Summary: The liquid drops from the metal pipes, the all too familiar sounds roam across the room.The petite boy is in the corner, hugging his knees close to him, his hands clutching each other desperately. Singing to himself quietly the song his new friend had taught him."Butterfly, butterflycome fly, flyyellow butterfly, white butterflycome here while dancingpetals dance in the breeze toosmiling, smiling, and laughingthe sparrows tweet, tweet, tweetsinging while dancing"Or:In which a young boy is given the gift of friendship, despite the odds with it.





	1. Chapter 1

Hakyeon winced when hearing the loud crashes, the loud screams coming from both his parents. He hated these nights. His dad would come home drunk, with the lingering smell of a woman's perfume. His mother quickly picking up the scent and confronting him about it, only to get a face full of arguments and screaming. 

He curled up in his mattress on the floor, grabbing the blanket he had besides the mattress to wrap himself up with it. He whimpered as he counted quietly, hoping to get a distraction. 

"1.....2.....3......4.....5-" 

_"WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?! "_

"-6....7.....8....9...10" 

_"STOP IT!! STOP IT!!!!"_

"-11....12.....13...14...15" 

Hakyeon hadn't known when it stopped. In fact he was glad. The little 8 year old found himself crying quietly again. "Go to sleep Hakyeonnie...... go to sleep....." he whispered, clutching his ears as he hummed to himself. 

"Yeonnie?" 

Hakyeon sat up as he heard the soft voice ring through the room. "Who's there!!!" He said, clutching the blanket closer to himself. Out of the shadows that the basement had created, five tall figures descended, smiles all plastered on their faces.

"Hello Cha Hakyeon.... we're your new friends!" The boy with a foreign nose said. Hakyeon furrowed his eyebrows together as he tried to process the information. "Friends....?" Hakyeon asked, not used to hearing the word or even using the word. He had remembered what friends means it's just...... he never had any. 

"It's okay Hakyeon...! We were sent here to you to keep you safe! To have fun! To play with you! Wouldn't you like that?" The one with the deep voice said. Hakyeon shyly nodded as he looked down at his hands. "Don't be shy now..... come on! Let's play!" The foreign nose guy said with a laugh. Hakyeon was pulled out from his excuse of a bed and soon found himself in the middle of a dancing chaos. He giggled seeing a pale stoic man swaying around creating weird gestures with his hands. He started to copy said man and soon found himself engaging more and more with the strangers. 

Once the laughter had died down, Hakyeon had asked, "who are you?" 

"Oh yeah! Sorry Hakyeonnie! My name's Ken!" 

"I'm Ravi!" 

"I'm Hyuk!" 

"My name's Hongbin" 

"My name is Leo" 

Hakyeon smiled and greeted all of them. "Thank you for making me laugh today!" He said with a giggle. The five men smiled warmly at him, watching the little boy stare at them with happiness. "Time to sleep now Yeonnie" Hyuk said, guiding the boy back to his mattress. The five cringed at the idea of the little boy sleeping on a dirty mattress all alone, but what could they do? Hakyeon pouted as he snuggled inside his bed. "You'll still be here tomorrow right...?" Hakyeon asked, feeling worried. The group nodded in response, Hongbin sitting next to him and patting his head. "We'll be here waiting....." Hongbin whispered, softly singing  a lullaby for the little boy to sleep.

_"Butterfly butterfly come fly fly...."_

*~* 

Hakyeon hadn't questioned why the boys appeared, he was just relieved to not be alone anymore. Ravi was really nice and protective, especially when his father would try to hurt him. Hongbin would always make sure the father would get distracted or pass out from the heavy drinking so the poor boy could avoid being beaten up. Leo would wake him up and help him cook meals for his messed up parents. Hyuk would hold onto Hakyeon when the boy would cry or just wanted to be cuddled. Ken played with him when he felt sad, they  played with him when he wanted to play, they were just always there.

The group ended up being really close to each other, despite Hakyeon being hesitant around them at first. They would always make sure Hakyeon would be happy with him, as the times they could go see Hakyeon was when he'd be home. "Hyung what's your favorite color?" Hakyeon gleefully asked one day. Ravi looked at him as he finished making the ramen. "Crimson.... i like crimson.." Ravi  replied ( I know it isn't but it's for the sake of the plot) smiling down at the boy. Hakyeon furrowed his eyebrows together as he pouted. "I'll ask Ms. Lee for it then..." Hakyeon replied, placing the boiled eggs inside the ramen cups. Ravi followed the petite boy into his room in the basement, quietly asking "Why..?". "It's a surprise hyung" Hakyeon giggled sitting down on the dirty matress, patting the place besides him so Ravi  could sit down next to him. Ravi sat down and watched Hakyeon wolf down his food, feeling a tug on his heart. 

*~*

"Hakyeon.... what are you doing..?" Hongbin asked, seeing said boy crawl around on the ground, desperately searching for something. "M-My mom's n-necklace... she lost it a-and told me-me to find-d it" He stuttered, looking up at hongbin  with tearful eyes. Hongbin bit his lip and started to help the boy find the necklace. 

"HAKYEON!!"

Hakyeon flinched at the full roar from his drunken mother. He looked back at Wonshik and told him to hide. Hongbin looked at him with guilt as he faded away. One thing Hakyeon hated was that, they  could be seen by others unless he hid. That night, he had gotten another beating, his mother was sure to leave marks behind. Hongbin held Hakyeon as he cured the wounds. "Hongbin hyung... why do they hate me...?" Hakyeon whispered, his back aching from leaning on the cold cement wall for two hours. "I don't know Yeonnie.... but believe me, they're missing out on alot of things for not loving you..." hongbin replied, stroking his hair fondly. Hakyeon smiled a toothy grin and shifted towards Hongbin. "Hongbin hyung... you love me right?" Hakyeon asked, making Wonshik chuckle. "Yes i do... why else would I stick around..?" Hongbin added, ruffling his hair. Hakyeon giggled and scooted closer to the man. "You'll never leave me alone.. right hyung?" Hakyeon asked, staring up at said man. Hongbin bit his lip and looked down at the boy. "Yeah... I'll never leave you alone...." 

_Crimson....._

"Hey yeonnie..." 

"Yeah hyung..?" 

"Do you want to sing the song...?"

"Yes..! That one was fun!" Hakyeon replied and hongbin began humming the tune, smiling as Hakyeon's soft voice filled the dark empty room, 

"Butterfly, butterfly.... come fly fly" 

*~* 

Leo had seen the little boy cry when he came home. "What happened Yeonnie??" He said as he immediately walked towards him and placed him on his lap. "The g-gift I made for you all g-got destroyed.." Hakyeon whimpered holding out the ripped piece of paper. Leo smiled seeing the boy's sulking expression. "It's okay Yeonnie.." he replied patting his head.

"It isn't okay! This was supposed to be for all of you" Hakyeon whined making Leo laugh softly. "Listen Yeonnie..... you're the best gift we could ever get" Leo said, tickling the little boy. Out of a sudden, Ken and Hyuk popped out of nowhere, scaring the two boys. "Yah Ken!" Leo scowled, glaring at the laughing man. "Why is my yeonnie sad?" Hyuk asked, stealing the little boy from Leo . 

"Your present got ruined...." Hakyeon whispered, feeling guilty. Hyuk only shook his head and hugged the boy. "It's okay Yeonnie.... it's okay...." Hyuk replied, smothering the boy in kisses. The four of them were having a little moment as the three older ones were trying to comfort the youngest. That was until, someone had to ruin it.

"HAKYEON!!!" 

Everyone winced at the voice of a pathetic excuse of a father. They turned to look at Hakyeon who looked terrified. "Hide! Hide now!" Hakyeon said, shooing them away. The three boys faded away, dreading to witness what was about to happen. 

*~* 

Hakyeon had arrived home eagerly, having gotten no food and he wanted to see if he could sneak in a bite or two without his parents at home. What he didn't expect to see was Ravi sitting on the couch alone. 

"Ravi hyung ? Where's the others?" Hakyeon asked, sitting next to his hyung. Ravi stayed quiet for a while, staring into nothing. He finally took a deep breath and turned to look at the now 10- year old. "Hakyeon.... the other hyungs had to..... leave for a while...... but uh.... they'll be back... soon..." Ravi said, his voice quivering. Hakyeon sat there in silence, his hyung were gone....? 

"Ravi hyung..... it'll be okay...! We still have each other right? We'll be here when they'll decide to come back!" Hakyeon said cheerily. Ravi bit back his sobs,  taken back by the innocence of the boy, as he hugged Hakyeon. "Yeah yeonnie..... we'll wait...." 

*~* 

Ravi had been fading a lot more these days, he'd fade away when it wasn't necessary. Hakyeon didn't pay too much attention to it, as he was too distracted with cleaning the place and trying to avoid being beaten up. Ravi was gradually becoming more and more weak, soon he wasn't able to protect Hakyeon from the beatings... not even cure his wounds. He just laid there, fading in and out. That was when Hakyeon had finally started to worry. "H-Hyung... you c-can't l-leave me... not alone a-again... " Hakyeon pleaded,  holding onto his hand. Ravi only smiled weakly as he slowly lifted his hand to pat his cheek fondly. "H-Hakyeon... whatever happens.... j-just know t-that you can get t-through it... you w-will get through... you will...." Ravi  whispered, his eyes fluttering shut. Hakyeon let out a whimper as the clutch he had on Ravi's hand disappeared. "Ravi- hyung..?NO!! We were supposed to wait for the others!!" Hakyeon shakily said, his hands desperately trying to search for his beloved hyung. 

"Hyung!?!"Hakyeon screeched, seeing as that Ravi wasn't coming back. Hakyeon cried, cuddling on the mattress as an excuse for Ravi's  body. Hakyeon couldn't stop his sobs from coming out even when his dad had stomped down into the basement and screamed at him to 'shut up'. 

Hakyeon had screamed with agony but not because of the beatings, but because of the loss of his friend. His only friend. 


	2. •2•

•2• 

*~* 

Two years had passed since Ravi left, Hakyeon being 12 now. He had grown accustomed to being alone once more. Eventually he had been convinced that they weren't real, a figment of his imagination. It had taken a while for him to come to that thought though. The reality of nobody being there to protect him and cure his wounds was too cruel to bear. 

Yet, he had been cleaning the kitchen at night when he heard a familiar voice. 

"Yeonnie...?" 

He froze at the nickname. The familiar nickname. He slowly turned around, anticipating on what or who he was going to see. He froze, seeing Ken standing there. The first thing he noticed was how he'd change. His old black quiff was now a brown simple haircut. His old bright outfit was replaced with a  grey outfit. He didn't know how to react. He was angry of course, but he also felt relieved. Ken looked unsure of what to do. Tension filled the air as they stared at each other. "Yeon-" Ken began but was cut off from the boy. 

"What are you doing here.... what are you doing here after leaving me alone" Hakyeon muttered, his clutch on the mop tightening. He let anger consume him as he stared at his hyung. "Hakyeon..... I-" Ken began, tears welling up in his eyes. "NO!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!? TO COME BACK AFTER LEAVING ME ALONE?!?" Hakyeon screamed, throwing the mop down in fury. Ken watched the boy break down, his heart swelling in pain. 

"Hakyeon.... listen to me...." Ken pleaded but the boy stubbornly shook his head. "No!! You're not.... you're not real!!!! Leave me alone!! Leave!!" Hakyeon screamed, making Ken flinch. "I'm sorry Hakyeon.... I'm sorry we didn't want to leave I swear.... we didn't want to leave.... if we didn't leave... you'd cease to exist" Ken replied, desperately wanting to reach out to the boy. 

Hakyeon wasn't stupid, he appreciated education. He always took the chance when it came to learning as he wanted to study and become someone better in life to escape the world of abuse and poverty. So obviously, he'd know the 'big words'. "Why would I cease to exist??" Hakyeon asked, watching Ken take in deep breaths. "We cared too much for you.... if we stayed we'd only been hurting you...." Ken whispered, his body shaking. Ken let out a gasp, his knees buckling causing him to fall as he clutched his chest in pain. Hakyeon immediately went quiet when seeing his hyung fall. 

"H-hyung....?" He whispered, worry quickly entering his body as he watched Ken writhe in pain. He immediately walked towards him, crouching down to gently try and calm him down. Hakyeon began to run his fingers through his hair and was pleased to see that it seemed to work. Ken's sobs turned into quiet sniffs, making his tensed muscles relax. Hakyeon let out a breath of relief, sitting down next to him. 

The two let silence consume them as they both tried to calm down more. "I like your new hair..." Hakyeon muttered, hoping to relieve the tension. Ken chuckled replying with, "glad you liked it kiddo....". "How've you been...? How about the others...? Has .... has Ravi come back to you?" Hakyeon asked softly, all the previous tension gone. "Yes.... he did... he came back but he had to leave for a bit... the others are doing fine and I'm.... I've been okay..." Ken replied, turning to look at the boy. He remembers when Ravi came back to them, sobbing as he felt so broken having to leave Hakyeon alone. 

"How about you?" He asked, hoping to hear something positive. "Same as always.... except now dad doesn't come home too often.... neither does mom with her five jobs.... so I'm mostly alone now...the mattress changed though"  Hakyeon replied, making Ken frown. "What about school?" He asked. "Still the same too.... except now I've made a friend... his name's minhyuk ..." Hakyeon replied, letting a grin spread out.

"That's nice to hear.... maybe he can take care of you for me..." Ken said. Hakyeon nodded and sighed, standing up to finish cleaning. "What are you doing?" Ken asked, watching Hakyeon begin to clean again. "I have to clean hyung... listen I'm glad to have you back but I need to get this done" Hakyeon replied, but that soon turned into a gape as Ken snapped his fingers and then everything turned spotless.

"There done!" Ken replied. Hakyeon had forgotten they could that as he watched Ken take out a pot and open the fridge. "Now what do you want to eat...." Ken's voice died down as he looked at the (literally) empty fridge. "Oh yeah! The groceries!!" Hakyeon exclaimed, running to his room to get his jacket. 

When he came down he saw Ken standing there waiting for him. He felt slightly relieved knowing that Ken was still there. "Ready to go?" Ken asked making Hakyeon nod. As soon as Hakyeon had locked the door, Ken took off running. Hakyeon groaned and ran after him, screaming out "HYUNG NO FAIR".

*~* 

By the time they arrived to the store, Ken had freaked out when seeing Hakyeon wheeze. "Okay so, we got the bread, rice, meat, eggs, and now we need the milk!" Hakyeon said, walking towards the dairy section. "Can we get ramen cups?" Ken asked, his eyes sparkling. Hakyeon shrugged as he took the milk cartons to check the due date. "Maybe if we have enough money left over" Hakyeon muttered, placing the milk down. 

"I want ramen cups~~~" Ken whined making Hakyeon scowl. "You look like a stay at home mom now..." Ken teased. Hakyeon rolled his eyes and told him to shut up. Ken gasped as he let out a "Hakyeon!". Hakyeon smirked and replied, "I'm not the small 8 year old you  once knew hyung...". Ken pouted and followed  the boy towards the cashier. After paying the two began walking home, or Ken watching Hakyeon fondly.

*~* 

Hakyeon had began boiling the water when he took in Ken's appearance. Ken was observing the house, memories rushing back to him. "What are you thinking about hyung?" Hakyeon asked, opening the ramen cups and taking out the powder. "Just memories.... remember when you cried because Leo would always win you at Rock Paper Scissors?" Ken asked, smiling at him. 

Hakyeon giggled and nodded. "Yeah... I remember..." he muttered, turning the stove off and pouring the water inside the cups. As the two began to slowly stir the noodles, they couldn't help but remember all the memories they made when they were all still together. 

"Really hyung.... why did you come back...?" Hakyeon asked. "We couldn't leave you alone.... they wouldn't let us come to you at first, but we quickly found a way and I was chosen to go and well, here I am to protect you..." Ken replied with a smile. Hakyeon nodded, chewing on the noodles. "But hyung ..... you.... you'll really stay right...?" Hakyeon asked, worry creeping up his veins. 

Ken gulped down the noodles and nodded. "Yes Hakyeon..... you won't be alone again...." he said with a grin, making Hakyeon feel relieved once more. 

*~* 

A year had passed in which Ken was with him once more. Hakyeon quickly grew accustomed to having the man with him, in fact he was glad. He would get things done quicker with Ken's help and he had time to study more and more and even play with Ken. 

Yet with all the good stuff, that didn't stop his father from beating him up. That's how they found themselves in the bathroom, Hakyeon sitting on the counter wincing now and then when Ken would apply the rubbing alcohol on the wound. "That bastard.... I'll kill him...." Ken muttered, looking up at Hakyeon who hissed in pain. 

" it's okay hyung...." Hakyeon whispered. Ken let out a growl as he slammed the alcohol down. "No it isn't Hakyeon!! I can't protect you no matter how much I try!!" Ken screamed, falling into the ground in frustration as he tugged on his hair.

Hakyeon stayed quiet for a bit until he hopped down the counter, flinching when the pain shot up his leg. He crouched down and gently yanked his hands away to envelop them in his own. "You don't need to protect me hyung.... I just need you to be there with me" Hakyeon replied, offering a smile to him. Ken stared at him and sighed, picking him up bridal style and setting him back down on the counter. "Come on... your wound is still bleeding..." Ken muttered, making Hakyeon frown at him. "You're okay hyung?" He asked. "Yes Yeonnie.... I'm fine...." he muttered. 

*~* 

Hakyeon had been happier the last few months. He had gotten new friends at school, he had gained more weight yet he was still below average. What made him happy most of all though was that Ken was  there. 

Despite all the happy things going on, of course something had to ruin it. 

One night, his father had come home reeking of alcohol and smoke. His mother who happened to be on the couch had stood up and began approaching him about why he came home so late. Once more, the arguing and screaming came back. 

Hakyeon woke up to the screams and he whimpered, curling into himself as he pleaded for it to stop. Ken woke up next to him and when he realized what was going on, he quickly wrapped his arms around the boy and whispered reassuring words to him. "It's okay Yeonnie.... it's okay go back to sleep...." he whispered. 

Then, a shrill shriek erupted from no one else but his mother. Hakyeon immediately sprang up and ran towards the living room. During the two years, his mother had sobered up and stopped abusing him yet she didn't do anything from stopping his father when he'd beat him up. Still, Hakyeon was grateful and loved her. 

Hakyeon tried pulling his father off of his bleeding mother, screaming for him to stop. His father only shoved him back with a sneer, causing Hakyeon to fall against the wall bumping his head on it. When Ken had arrived at the scene, he saw Hakyeon's head bump into the wall causing Hakyeon to let out a scream. 

Ken growled, his eyes turning red in anger as he realized the father was at fault of it. He lunged at him, causing both to fall besides the unconscious woman. Ken began hitting him as he screamed out curses. Hakyeon wanted to stop him but all he felt was numb. The pain shot up everywhere and he couldn't move. He watched as Ken's figure slowly stopped. What surprised him was Ken let out a scream and falling besides his dad. He watched him writhe on the floor and groan. "K-Ken hyung...." Hakyeon rasped out, attempting to extend his arm to him. 

Ken only let out a cry as he looked up to the boy. "Hakyeon-ah.... I-I'm.... so sorry..." Ken whimpered, watching Hakyeon's eyes widen at the realization. Hakyeon desperately tried to move and try to prevent what he thought was going to happen. Ken closed his eyes and Hakyeon watched Ken's figure fade in and out until it completely disappeared. 

Hakyeon froze. 

Ken had left him alone. 

He felt numb all over again, he didn't bother to move as he saw his father walk towards him and yank him up only to slam him back down. The next thing he knew, he heard the door slam open with screams coming from men in blue uniforms. The weight of his father was pulled off from him and he found himself being carried bridal style outside. 

Once he was placed on the stretcher and the air mask placed on him, he finally let the tears pour out. It wasn't  because he was finally let out of the place he called home, 

It was because a promise had been broken. 

*~* 

 


	3. •3•

"Eomma, I'm home!" 15 year old Hakyeon said, stepping into the one-room apartment. When hearing silence Hakyeon sighed, she was at her job now. He placed his backpack down and walked towards his room. After changing he walked towards the kitchen and grabbed himself cookies and milk and went to sit back down at the living room. He had began on his homework when he felt a shudder going down his spine. He ignored it and only continued while bobbing his head along to the beat of Exo's song love me right. Again, goosebumps kept going down his arms and legs. He let out an annoyed groan and stood up to grab his jacket. Just as he turned around he caught sight of a man standing in the middle. "Hakyeon....." he began. Hakyeon froze, eyes widening when seeing him. "Hyuk....." Hakyeon replied, surprisingly feeling nothing. Hyuk stood there awkwardly, his clothes familiar to Ken's. Hakyeon only sat back down and resumed his homework, much to Hyuk's surprise. 

"Hakyeon.... I..... how, how've you been..?" Hyuk asked, clearly not knowing what to say. Hakyeon took a deep breath, feeling his anger rising back up. "I've been doing fine thank you..." he sneered, slamming his math workbook shut. He looked up at the clock and ran towards his room, leaving a confused Hyuk. "What's going on-?" Hyuk asked but went quiet when he saw Hakyeon running down in a flimsy work uniform. 

"What-" Hyuk asked again but was met with the sight of a very angry Hakyeon. "Just shut up and stay here! I'll be back and once that happens then we can talk" he said and locked the door shut. Hyuk stood there in shock. Had Hakyeon really raised his voice at him? 

He took a deep breath and sat back down, finally taking notice of the new home. He walked around the apartment, checking to see if he could clean up a bit. He was hoping that could cheer Hakyeon up when he came back home and once he found the dirty dishes, he went straight to work. After doing such Hyuk wandered off into the rooms, causing him to stumble upon Hakyeon's room. He stepped inside, smiling at the comfort feeling. The bedroom was simple, a desk in the corner filled with workbooks and pencils and pens, the bed neatly made, the room well cleaned. 

Hyuk sighed as he sat down on the bed. What would he say to Hakyeon? "Oh yeah I came back so you wouldn't be alone but my time's running out so I can't stay forever" yeah as if that would be a good thing to say. 

"You have to take care of him Hyuk.... we can't stay with him forever unless one of us manages to stop him from believing..." 

The words that Leo said went through Hyuk's mind in an instant. Hyuk sighed as he laid down on the bed. Time was a precious thing to them. They had to act quickly if they wanted to come back to Hakyeon. 

*~* 

Hakyeon arrived home after 3 hours, completely exhausted and worn out. He lazily shut the door and plopped down on the couch, forgetting that a certain man was waiting for him. He was about to go to sleep when he heard someone clear their throat. Hakyeon sprang up and turned around to see Hyuk swaying lightly with a giddy smile. Hakyeon groaned and rubbed his eyes. "You're still here...." he muttered feeling annoyed. Hyuk raised his eyebrows but said, "yeah I am.... not planning on leaving either". Hakyeon snorted and smirked, "yeah sure whatever...". Hyuk's eyebrows furrowed as he saw the attitude Hakyeon was showing. 

"Hakyeon.... if I were you I'd watch my tone..." Hyuk said in a low voice. "Yeah but you're not me and I'm not you so I get to speak however I want to speak!" Hakyeon sneered, daring to look up at him. Hyuk glared at him and stepped closer, " listen, I get that you're mad but that doesn't mean you disrespect me like this-". 

"Actually yes it does!! I can disrespect you because all you ever did was leave me alone so why shouldn't I confront you about it? You promised to stay with me but no you all just left without an explanation! And guess what?? Even when you say you'll stay you'll leave me anyway! That's what Ken and Ravi hyung did! So don't you dare promise anything because you'll break it!" Hakyeon screamed, feeling all his anger pour out once more. Hyuk said nothing as he realized what Hakyeon was saying was true. They had left the boy alone when he most needed them. They had left without an explanation. They had abandoned Hakyeon. 

"Hakyeon..... Hakyeon..... Hakyeon listen to me Hakyeon please...." Hyuk pleaded taking steps closer and closer, each step he took causing Hakyeon to step away. It came to the point where Hakyeon's back was on the wall and Hyuk trapped him between his arms. "Hakyeon..... I'm sorry..... we didn't mean to..... we loved you so much we couldn't stay..... we couldn't stay or else we'd be hurting you..." Hyuk whispered, noticing Hakyeon's shaking figure. 

Hakyeon screwed his eyes shut as he placed his hands on his ears to try and block out Hyuk's words. He didn't seem to notice the tears falling until he felt Hyuk's thumb carefully wipe them away. He flinched away from his touch and whimpered, making Hyuk's heartbreak. Hyuk gently pulled his hands away from his ears making Hakyeon fight against his grip. Hyuk however, tightened his grip on his wrists and placed his forehead against Hakyeon's own. Hakyeon kept whining against his grip but let Hyuk envelop him in his arms. Hakyeon couldn't help but accept the warmth. He couldn't help but fist Hyuk's shirt and place his forehead against his chest as he sobbed. Hakyeon couldn't help release all of his pain in that moment either. 

"Why? Why? Why?! Why?! Why?!?!" Hakyeon screamed as he repeatedly hit Hyuk's chest. Hyuk sighed as he carried Hakyeon bridal style into his room and placed him on his bed. Hakyeon didn't fight back as Hyuk laid down besides and hugged him. Hakyeon's sniffles were the only thing that broke the silence, Hyuk occasionally humming a song. 

When Hakyeon closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, Hyuk stared at him in sadness. "I'm sorry hyung.... we had to..." Hyuk whispered, tears slowly leaving his eyes. 

*~* 

The next days were horrendous to Hyuk. Hakyeon hadn't even spared him a glance and ignored him. No matter how many times Hyuk tried to spark up conversation, Hakyeon would only leave or do something else. It came to the point that Hyuk had to force him into conversation. 

"Yah come on Hakyeon! Talk to me now! Who gave you that bruise?!?" Hyuk screamed, trapping Hakyeon in his own room. Hakyeon avoided his eyes and crossed his arms. Hyuk groaned in annoyance as he grabbed Hakyeon's chin and forced him to look at him. 

"Hakyeon... tell me right now" Hyuk said, his voice surprisingly dropping. Hakyeon felt shivers run down his spine as he gulped. "It wa-was some b-boy at school..." he whispered, making Hyuk's glare then even more menacing. "I'll kill him...." Hyuk growled and was about to walk away when Hakyeon grabbed his wrist and said, "no it wasn't his fault anyway! He was fighting with my friend and I tried stopping them so I stepped in front of him and he punched me on accident...". 

Hyuk stayed quiet until he let out a laugh. "You're so stupid yeonnie you know that right?" He said and grinned at the now mad boy. "No I'm not hyuk hyung...." Hakyeon said with a pout but smiled back anyway.  The two chuckled and then stared at each other in silence. 

"You know.... I'm glad you came back..." Hakyeon muttered, making Hyuk's smile turn wider. "Yeah...? I'm glad to see you again..." Hyuk replied. Hakyeon looked down shyly until he flung himself on Hyuk, arms wrapping around his waist. "Thank you hyung..... for coming back..." Hakyeon whispered. Hyuk only enveloped his arms around him and dug his nose in hakyeon's hair. 

*~* 

The next few months, Hakyeon and Hyuk were slowly piecing each other back. Hakyeon learned to trust Hyuk again and Hyuk learned that Hakyeon was going through his emotional hormone stage. The two were on the couch, watching a sappy drama that the two were secretly enjoying. 

"Goblin looks really really cool in that outfit...." Hyuk commented, making Hakyeon nod in agreement. "I'm just waiting for the part where Goblin realizes that  Eun Tak is his bride.." Hakyeon replied making Hyuk laugh. 

Once the drama ended, Hakyeon was putting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher until they heard the door opening, making them freeze. Hakyeon rushed into the living room when he heard his mother's shriek. Hyuk stood there in shock watching Hakyeon's mother panic and screaming for him to get out. Hakyeon tried to calm down his mother but she only pushed him out of the way and went to pull Hyuk out of the house. Hyuk looked at Hakyeon apologetically and Hakyeon got the memo. 

"Nononono Hyuk! Hyung! No!" Hakyeon screamed and lunged towards them, but by the time he tried grabbing Hyuk's hand Hyuk had already disappeared. They stood in silence until Hakyeon's mother began to panic again. 

"Hakyeon?!! Who was that?! Did you know him?! Oh my god he just disappeared!! Hakyeon call the authorities! Oh my god oh my god! He just disappeared!!" Hakyeon's mother began to rant until suddenly, she collapsed on the couch. Hakyeon ran to his mother's side and repeated the words, 

"Mom? Mom??" 

He called the ambulance and after the chaos had died down, he found himself in the waiting room. He began to worry because.... would Hyukkie leave? Hakyeon decided not to put much thought into it and just focus on his mother, who had woken up without memory of Hyuk. It wasn't until next week that Hyuk came back, only with a solemn face. "I can't stay anymore Hakyeon...." Hyuk whispered, avoiding Hakyeon's look of disappointment and hurt.  Hakyeon only bit his lip, trying to avoid whimpers, and nodded. "Why...? She doesn't remember.... you can stay...." Hakyeon whispered, attempting to keep him even if that sounded selfish. Hyuk sighed and hugged him. "I'm sorry Hakyeon..... I'm not allowed..... she saw me .... we can't keep risking this...." he said and departed from the hug. Hakyeon sniffled and looked up to meet Hyuk's eyes and smiles. "It's okay..... it's okay ..... I'll be fine.... I promise...." Hakyeon whispered, his voice breaking. Hyuk only wiped his tears away and nodded, smiling sadly. 

He ruffled Hakyeon's hair and said, "well then..... this is our goodbye....". Hakyeon let out a sob and nodded, waving goodbye as he did not trust his voice. Hyuk took a deep breath and then, he disappeared. Hakyeon's knees buckled and he fell to the ground, sobs racking his body once more. 

_"Why do you always leave me...?"_

_"I'm sorry ...... hyung...."_

*~* 

Please comment.... :P 

Also! Comment if you got the sort of plot twist? 


	4. •4•

"Hakyeon-ah.... it's your turn to wash the dishes tonight...." 

Hakyeon looked up at his mother, who was currently looking at tax papers. He nodded and stood up to get her plates. "Remember, today's Wednesday you got that job at the gas station...." his mom said, taking out the bottle of pills from the cabinet. "Eomma! " Hakyeon shouted, snatching the bottle away from her. "Hakyeon.... I was just going to take one for my headache...." she mumbled. Hakyeon sighed as he took one pill out and gave it to her. "There, you promised you wouldn't keep the pills in the cabinet before..." he said, beginning to wash the dishes. His mother ignored him by switching the topic. 

"When's your final exam?" She asked, making Hakyeon freeze. He hadn't told her of his exams, hell, he hadn't even told her anything about school. "In Friday...." he replied, still confused on how she found out. "Hm.... okay...." she muttered before swallowing the pill dry. "Remember it's Wednesday, you gotta go to that shift of yours..." she said before standing up. 

Hakyeon watched her walk to her room before hearing the door slam. 

*~* 

Hakyeon sighed as he ruffled his hair. He was currently in the gas station, working his shift, and trying to solve one of the equations in his homework. He had drank 2 cans of coffee so he was well awake. Honestly, he hated the bitter taste and would much rather prefer tea but he couldn't afford to waste precious money on such luxuries, so he stuck to cheap coffee cans. The bell rang which meant a customer had entered. Hakyeon rolled his eyes as he stood up to greet the customer but what he was greeted with made him freeze. 

"H-Hongbin hyung..?" He muttered. Hongbin stared at him with a look of relief and was about to say something when suddenly Hakyeon's face turned emotionless. Hakyeon said nothing as he motioned for him to get closer. "What are you doing here?" He asked. "I um.... I came to be with you.." Hongbin replied, too awkward to say anything else. Hakyeon only sat back down and asked, "how's Hyuk hyung..?". "He's.... fine" Hongbin replied. "Hm, good.... I worried about him..." Hakyeon said, taking out his calculator. "How've you been...?" Hongbin asked. 

"I'm okay .... I'm stressed out right now but otherwise I've been doing fine" Hakyeon replied. "Your hair isn't curly anymore..." Hakyeon noted, finally looking up at him. Hongbin couldn't take it anymore, so he asked, "why aren't you screaming at me?". Hakyeon furrowed his eyebrows and asked, "what do you mean?". 

"You should be mad at me.... I left you alone...." Hongbin whispered, looking down as if his shoes were the most interesting thing in the world. "Why would I do that? Yes I'm a bit annoyed right now but I'm sure you had your reasons for disappearing" Hakyeon said. Hongbin's breath hitched as Hakyeon said that, was Hakyeon really okay with this? The little bell rang once more, making Hakyeon stand up and greet the customer. After the customer left, Hakyeon finally realized he wasn't alone. He turned around, secretly hoping Hongbin would still be there. It was empty. Hakyeon couldn't help feel disappointment until Hongbin suddenly appeared. 

"Wah! I forgot you can do that...." Hakyeon muttered making Hongbin chuckle. "That was Hyuk's mistake.... he didn't disappear when your mother came in" Hongbin said. Hakyeon shrugged and sat back down. "Are you.... staying?" Hakyeon asked.

Hongbin nodded, smiling at him with reassurance but Hakyeon already knew the answer. 

*~* 

"Why are you following me?" Hakyeon asked, feeling annoyed. "I told you.... I'm staying with you" Hongbin said as he trailed behind Hakyeon. "It still feels creepy... why don't you walk besides me?" Hakyeon whined. "Because then I wouldn't be able to prevent someone from hitting you in the head" Hongbin replied, making Hakyeon scoff. 

"Who would be here? It's 4 am ... besides I've walked these streets alone before and nothing's ever happened" Hakyeon said. "Why don't you take the bus?" Hongbin asked, recalling the memory when they'd drop Hakyeon off at the bus station to go to school. "The bus doesn't operate at these hours..." Hakyeon mumbled, stopping suddenly. "Hey, can't you just teleport us back home?" Hakyeon asked, a glint of hope in his eyes. 

"I kind of lost that power when we left..." Hongbin said sheepishly, making Hakyeon groan. Hakyeon began walking faster, attempting to leave Hongbin behind. Hongbin laughed and jogged to catch Hakyeon. 

"N hyun-!" 

He froze immediately when he realized what he was saying. He looked at Hakyeon, hoping he didn't hear him. Luckily, Hakyeon was far enough not to hear him. Hongbin sighed in relief before running towards Hakyeon. 

*~* 

Hakyeon had been stressing out since it was Thursday, the day before the exam. Hongbin watched as he paced around the room, mumbling out equations and phrases he couldn't understand. Hakyeon hadn't told Hongbin anything after Wednesday, it seemed as if Hakyeon didn't care if Hongbin stayed. Hakyeon screamed out in frustration, stomping his foot down childishly. Hongbin jumped at the sudden noise, watching Hakyeon with wide eyes. "Hakyeon-ah maybe you should-" 

"Hakyeon-ah...." 

The two froze, looking at the door. Hakyeon's mother had called for him. "Yes eomma...?" Hakyeon called out. "Come to the kitchen..." she said, her footsteps disappearing slowly. Hakyeon turned around in confusion to look at Hongbin who shrugged in return. "What do I do?" Hakyeon whispered, Hongbin only motioned towards the door and said "go.." Hakyeon slowly stepped out, walking towards the kitchen nervously. Had he done something wrong? Was his mother mad at him? All the questions flew out of his mind when he saw his mother sitting at the table, a cake in the middle of it. Confusion swept over him, was it her birthday today? 

"E-Eomma..?" He muttered, yet she only motioned him to sit down. Once Hakyeon did as told, she took a deep breath and said "I heard from the lady at the market that the high school students were having their exams tomorrow.... so I wanted to make sure and asked you for the date.... I realized I haven't really done anything for you throughout these times so, I gathered enough money and was able to buy this cake for you.... you know... as good luck".

Hakyeon took a while to process his mother's words, but when he did he couldn't help but let the tears flow. "E-Eomma.... thank you..." he whispered, watching as his mother smiled warmly at him. That made Hakyeon break down. 

When was the last time his mother smiled? At him? 

"Aigoo.... our yeonnie is crying.... don't cry Hakyeon... here have some cake..." his mother said while chuckling, cutting a slice of cake and placing it in front of him. Hakyeon looked up at her, too emotional to say anything. His mother only smiled before hugging him. Hakyeon clutched her tightly while he sobbed in her neck. Hongbin watched from the hall, smiling at the scene. Hakyeon had the love he was craving for now. 

The love of a mother. 

*~* 

"You're so annoying you know that right?" Hakyeon muttered, turning the rice pot off as he glared at Hongbin who was eating pieces of seaweed. Hongbin only shrugged and winked at him. Hakyeon rolled his eyes as he shot back, "not even Hyuk was this annoying....and he's the youngest of you all....". Hongbin whined and draped himself over Hakyeon. 

"You still love me though..." Hongbin said, snuggling closer to him. Hakyeon laughed mockingly before attempting to shrug him off. "Yah.... Hongbin hyung the chicken is burning" Hakyeon said, making him immediately jump off. Hakyeon hurriedly turned the stove off. "I really shouldn't let you stay in the kitchen when I'm cooking.... it's been months..." Hakyeon said, cutting the meat in pieces. 

"Go sit down, the food's almost done" Hakyeon said, shooing Hongbin away. Hongbin sat down as he sulked. He soon caught sight of Hakyeon that made his heart quiver. Hakyeon was serving the food with his tongue poking out in concentration. Hongbin felt his heart break as he watched him, the scene was all too familiar. Next thing he knew, Hakyeon had set the food down shouting out a "bon appetite!". Hongbin stared at Hakyeon who sat across from him, smiling. Hakyeon frowned, seeing the tears well up in Hongbin's eyes. 

"Are you okay hyung..? Do you not like the food? I can make you something else if you want-" Hakyeon began, standing up to take the plate of food away. Hongbin shook his head and motioned for him to sit down. He wiped his tears away and smiled, "no it's okay.... let's eat...". 

Hakyeon watched him eat, an itching feeling in his gut as he wondered... what made him react this way? 

*~* 

Hongbin stared down at his fading hands, sighing deeply as he said "are you hurting again Ravi-ah..?". Hakyeon suddenly bursted into the room with a smile. "I'm home hyung! Did you mi-" Hakyeon froze when seeing his hands. The scene with Ravi flashed through his mind. "Is that...." Hakyeon trailed off, seeing Hongbin nod. Hongbin hadn't even bothered to hide the hands because he knew that Hakyeon would figure out either way. Besides, he didn't want to leave Hakyeon with an aching heart if he were to disappear one day. 

"It's okay hyung.... I get it.... it's okay..." Hakyeon said, his voice breaking as he kneeled down hongbin. Hongbin could only smile, despite the tears flowing down. "I don't want to leave you alone... not again..." Hongbin whispered, looking at Hakyeon who was fighting to not cry. Hakyeon shook his head saying, "no hyung...! It's okay.... I'm not alone.... I'm.... it's okay.... if you need to leave... then it's okay with me... I won't be alone hyung...". Hongbin whimpered as he threw his arms around Hakyeon to hug him. However, he fell down. Silence went through the room as they both tried to process what had happened. Hongbin quickly stood up and turned around to look at Hakyeon, who was equally shocked. "Why did.... why couldn't I hug you?" Hongbin asked, wondering why he had went right through Hakyeon. "I don't know...." Hakyeon whispered before attempting to hug him back. "I can't .... we can't .... we can't touch anymore..." hongbin said. 

The two stared at each other in confusion. What was going on? 

*~* 

Hakyeon's mood had grown grim, as he knew that Hongbin would disappear one day. They spent their days together in every possible way to make up for the time they would lose. One night, Hongbin woke up with a pained gasp. The noise startled Hakyeon, who sat up immediately when he heard Hongbin gasp out in pain. "Hyung...? Hyung..?!" Hakyeon cried out, desperately trying to calm Hongbin down as he hoped that would let him stay a bit longer. 

"H-Hakyeon.... h-hyung is sorry.... I'm so.... so s-sorry...." Hongbin gasped out, his hands clutching his chest as pain shot out everywhere in body. Hakyeon shook his head, not even caring when the tears flowed down. "No hyung.... it's o-okay... h-hyung it's fine.... don't worry.... I'll b-be okay... you'll b-be o-okay ....." Hakyeon said, his voice trembling. Hongbin's breaths shortened, his skin turning paler and paler. Hakyeon's breath hitched as he noticed Hongbin fading in and out. Hakyeon sniffed as he began singing, 

 _"Butterfly, butterfly_  
come fly, fly  
yellow butterfly, white butterfly   
come here while dancing  
petals dance in the breeze too  
smiling, smiling, and laughing   
the sparrows tweet, tweet, tweet   
singing while dancing" 

Hakyeon let out a sob, Hongbin fading completely. He let himself fall where Hongbin once was, the feeling of agony crawling in him. "Hyung.... hyung..... it's okay.... hyung..." he kept repeating, curling into himself. 

One more had left him. 

*~*

Comment if you got the hint! 


	5. •5•

"Cha Hakyeon" 

Hakyeon raised his hand, the teacher nodding as a sign to tell him that he had seen him. Hakyeon was able to graduate high school with a scholarship. Needless to say, he was very happy and proud of himself. His mother had strongly stayed by his side until her death when he was barely beginning university. Although Hakyeon never had a very close relationship with her, he still appreciated her efforts in making him happy. Hakyeon, being 20 years old now, had managed to forget about the strange men who'd go to him all of a sudden and left him. He was a mature man, studying to become a dance teacher, and had managed to keep his past life in.... well.... the past. 

He enjoyed his life now, after long visits to therapy he was able to overcome his troubles and depression and go on. He had close friends, friends he could count on, he had a stable job and a stable apartment.

After school ended, Hakyeon and a few of his friends decided to hang out before leaving to their respective homes. Hakyeon was walking home, having been driven by Jackson to the restaurant and dropped off, before he heard his name being called. He turned around, his eyes widening when seeing the stoic face he hadn't seen since he was 10. Hakyeon froze, his breathing hitched. "L-Leo....." he whispered, fear striking him for some odd reason. Leo said nothing as he walked towards him. "You've grown well Hakyeon...." he muttered, raising his hand and placing it on his shoulder. 

Despite the odds, Hakyeon was still shorter than him and that annoyed him a bit. "H-Hey...." he whispered, not knowing what to do or say. "How've you been" Leo asked, making Hakyeon chuckle. Leo raised an eyebrow in confusion, he didn't find anything funny in what he'd said. " Why is it that whenever we meet again you always say that?" Hakyeon said with a chuckle. Leo only turned more confused. "What do you mean?" He asked. 

"You guys always ask me that.... Ken hyung, Ravi hyung, Hyuk hyung, Hongbin hyung..." Hakyeon said with a fond smile. "Anyway yes I've been fine... you?" Hakyeon asked. " I'm okay..." Leo muttered. Hakyeon grinned and nodded. The two stayed in silence before Hakyeon began walking. "Aren't you coming ?" Hakyeon asked, seeing that Leo hadn't moved. Leo stared at him in shock. "Are you really okay with me going with you?" Leo asked, tilting his head to the side. Hakyeon nodded, "yeah? Why? Don't worry hyung... I'm not holding onto the grudge.....". Leo only walked towards him, making Hakyeon smile once more. 

*~* 

"So .... you met up with the other hyungs right?" Hakyeon asked, pouring himself and Leo a cup of tea. "Yeah.... I've met them before they were all sent away..." Leo said, staring down at the table. "What do you mean sent away..?" Hakyeon asked, setting the cup down in front of Leo. "They just..... they were just.... sent away... I don't know where...." Leo said, staring at his tea. 

Hakyeon frowned but said nothing to not cause tension. 

*~* 

Leo hadn't been much of a talker, never was, and Hakyeon appreciated it as he studied. Yet, it did bother him when Leo would only reply in short whispers. Hakyeon only smiled however, seeing that he was glad Leo was with him. 

The two were sitting in Hakyeon's bed, silently staring at the wall. 

Hakyeon had had a random outburst, his mind drifting back to his father's beatings. Leo had managed to calm him down but that didn't stop Hakyeon from occasionally sniffling. "Hyung... when... when will I be free...?" Hakyeon asked, his head laying on Leo's shoulder. "Soon Yeonnie...... I promise...." Leo whispered, turning to look at him. Hakyeon sniffed and chuckled. "Tell me a story Leo..." he said. "Aren't you a bit too old to hear them?" Leo asked with a chuckle. "Nope! You left me so now you owe me a story" Hakyeon said, snuggling closer to him. Leo sighed and smiled. 

"Hakyeon....haven't you ever thought about what we might be...?" He asked, his mind going back to all the times they were together with Hakyeon as a child. "Yes... I have.... but I've never asked for confirmation since I thought it'd be a bit awkward..." he replied, sitting up and taking a pillow to hug it. Leo gulped and nodded. "Hakyeon..... there's a story I planned on telling you since you were a kid.... but I guess I can tell it now" Leo said, turning to be in front of Hakyeon. Hakyeon smiled anxiously, wanting to hear the story since Leo was the best storyteller ( in his opinion). "Guardian angels..... do you believe in them?" Leo asked. Hakyeon shrugged as he looked at Leo. "If you guys exist.... I'm pretty sure they do too..." Hakyeon replied. 

"Right well..... there was a team of six.... six guardian angels that were chosen to protect children.... but here's the rule.... they aren't allowed to reveal themselves and they are also not allowed to feel love for them.... not the type of love that a couple would have .... more like.... family love...." Leo explained, seeing the confusion and slight disgust in Hakyeon's face after mentioning love. "Well, the leader of the team of guardian angels.... loved the little boy they were protecting as his own brother.... the little boy was going through the same thing you were going through.....abuse..." Leo said, watching Hakyeon's expression turn into understanding. 

" the leader.... received many warnings from the higher ups..... and his own team.... but at the end... he ignored them all as he felt too bad for the kid..." Leo said, looking down at his shaking hands. "It came to the point where he.... he revealed himself in front of the boy.... he kept it a secret, until his team found out..." Leo said. "What did they do? Did they report him?" Hakyeon asked. "No.... they kept it a secret.... they helped the leader meet the boy in secret... until the boy died..." Hakyeon gasped. "The higher ups had finally found out what the leader had done.... and his punishment was that he'd be reincarnated as the boy who had died.... and he'd go through what he did ... but much more worse..." Leo said, his voice shaking. 

"The members couldn't accept that.... they just couldn't let their leader suffer alone... so they went against what they were ordered and went to protect their leader.... who was now in the body of a small boy" Leo said, making Hakyeon furrow his eyebrows. "Why would they do that?" Hakyeon asked,  clearly perplexed. "Because they loved their leader too much...." Leo whispered. 

"Hyung.... you're crying...." Hakyeon said, shocked from the sudden outburst because Leo wasn't one to easily cry. "I'm sorry.... I just.... I knew him...." Leo said, wiping his tears away. Hakyeon felt guilty, he had made Leo sad. "The members.... they were reincarnated after the higher ups saw what they were doing..... they had revealed themselves in front of the boy so they left the boy  and were reincarnated...." Leo said, finishing the story. 

"What happened to the boy?" Hakyeon asked curiously. "I don't know..... that's all I heard from the story....." Leo replied, his eyes bloodshot. Hakyeon frowned while thinking, 

_That team.... must've been suffering a lot ....._

He only took a deep breath and smiled. "Leo.... why don't we sleep?" He asked, moving to take the sheets off of the bed. Leo only nodded and waited for Hakyeon to snuggle in before going in himself. "Thanks hyung..... for coming back..." Hakyeon whispered before closing his eyes and quickly going to sleep, the exhaustion of crying taking over him. Leo stayed quiet before he removed some of the hair on Hakyeon's face, his voice quivering, 

_"I love you....._

_N hyung...."_

*~* 

"Leo hyung!!!! I'm back!" Hakyeon yelled as he shut the door. Leo perked up from the couch, setting the manga down. "Wah.... so you're the one who's taking the manga off from the shelves...." Hakyeon said with a tsk at the end. Leo only rolled his eyes and went back to reading the manga. "I was able to pass the lesson today.... so as celebration I brought soju!" Hakyeon cheered, slamming the bottle down in front of Leo. Leo jumped at the sudden slam, causing him to let go of the book. Leo scowled at Hakyeon with a glare. "I lost the page thanks to you..." he muttered before picking it back up. Hakyeon smiled sheepishly as he sipped on the soju. "Drink up hyung....! We're eating pizza tonight!" He said and went to call the pizza place. Leo only chuckled as he opened his bottle. "Hakyeon-ah..!! I don't want pizza!" Leo whined, wanting to tease Hakyeon although the idea of pizza sounded very good. 

"Well you suck" 

"I'm your hyung!" 

"Lalalalla I can't hear you!!!" 

Leo shook his head with a laugh and took a swig from the bitter liquid. 

Suddenly, he found himself in a grey room. He immediately turned around in panic. Had he been found?!? 

"Hakyeon?!? Hakyeon?!?" He began screaming, hoping that he'd appear. "Leo.... stop screaming he's not here...." 

Leo turned around, his body shaking in anger as the familiar voice rang in his ears. "What do you want..." he muttered, his fists clenching. "I thought you would've all learned your lessons when Ravi got caught.... but here you are risking your own life for that disgusting boy" the mysterious figure said as he floated towards Leo. "Don't you dare call him that!! N was only  trying to take care of Hakyeon!" Leo screamed, stepping away from the floating angel. "N was nothing but a disgrace... I told the higher ups he'd be weak.... he'd fall quickly into the trap...." the angel said, his raspy voice sending shivers through Leo's spine. 

"That's what made N special.... he had the guts to do something none of us could ever do... he stepped up against you... to protect a boy who needed someone.... and you couldn't accept it.... none of you could... why? Because you were all afraid..... you were all afraid of reaching to the children.... and just when they were making progress... you had to destroy it..,." Leo said, his voice shaking with anger. The angel said nothing as the aura around it grew red. 

"N deserved it.... you all deserved it!! But you know what?? I'll let you suffer.... because if you stay with him.... you'll kill him.... he'll die in your own hands.... so you choose Leo.... you either feed your own selfish wish.... or you leave him alone..." the angel said, disappearing. Leo froze, slowly processing what the angel had told him. 

Leo's breathing quickened, the room began to close in itself, trapping him inside. He began screaming. It couldn't be like this. It shouldn't be like this. 

Were the heavens always this cruel? 

Just because the pure heart of its own angel tried reaching out to someone in need of help? 

Life was cruel. Life was unfair. 

"LEO!!LEO HYUNG! LEO!!" 

A familiar voice rang in his ears, he opened his eyes only to see a panicked Hakyeon. "Hyung! Are you okay?? You blacked out!" Hakyeon said, shaking Leo's shoulders. Leo only took deep breaths as he tried calming himself.

"I'm fine Hakyeon... Hakyeon I'm fine..." he repeated, staring at Hakyeon who offered him water. Leo chuckled as he raised his hand to caress his cheek, confusing Hakyeon more. "No matter how much... I think about it.... I can't see the differences between you two..... no wonder N was so caught up in you... you both.... were so alike...." Leo whispered, smiling sadly at him. Hakyeon's eyes widened at the words Leo spoke. "Who's N?" Hakyeon asked, wanting answers. "My.... my leader..." he whispered, making Hakyeon freeze. 

What was going on...? 

"I'm going to have to leave you.... I can't.... I can't stay with you... or you'll die.... but I can't break the promise I made N.... " Leo muttered, clutching Hakyeon's forearms. "Hyung...? You're worrying me..." Hakyeon said, making Leo look at him. "Yeonnie.... I'm sorry..... I can't stay with you..... I just can't...." Leo said through a broken voice. 

Hakyeon felt tears brim at his eyes. "Hyung..... what are you talking about...?" He said as he hugged him. "Hakyeon..... Hakyeon..... Hakyeon......" Leo whimpered until he full on screamed, "N!N!N!!!". Hakyeon let the tears flow as he hugged his hyung who was fading. "Hyung! No! Please! Hyung!!" Hakyeon screamed, clutching Leo tighter. 

Leo only cried harder. 

Hakyeon only screamed louder. 

Until Leo finally disappeared. 

Hakyeon froze as he looked down, noticing that nobody was there. His lips quivered as he fell on all fours. "Hyung.... hyung.... hyung?! HYUNG?!?" He screamed, his tears only flowing faster. 

He was gone. 

*~* 

*4 years later* 

Hakyeon had graduated from the university already with his degree and now here he was, standing in front of the school of arts he taught in. He had already been accepted in the school even when he was still in university so he was already well known there. He had been proud of himself, as his class who had entered many competitions had won many prizes. Needless to say, he was once again back on track. His life was perfect. He had everything he could ever ask for. In fact, he had more than enough. 

Yet he never took advantage of it.

He arrived school early that morning since the principal had called for a meeting. He went inside the teacher's meeting room and was greeted by everyone. Minhyuk walked towards him and smiled, "heard we got new recruits...!". Hakyeon smiled and replied, "that's great! It's always fun to have new people!". Minhyuk only laughed and ruffled his hair. "Alright people! Gather around I have news!" The principal Choi Siwon declared as he clapped to get everyone's attention. "As you all know... we have been short on staff since some people have left to other schools or military service.... now, I've managed to get new staff that I'd like all of you to meet! Remember, they'll be here to work and make sure you all treat them nicely, we are family in this school! Now, may you please introduce yourself?" 

Hakyeon was excited to meet the new teachers. He even got on his tippy toes to see them. But when he finally saw them, he dropped the stacks of papers in his hands, the air escaping his lungs. 

"Hello! I'm Lee Jaehwan.... the vocal teacher!" 

"My name's Kim wonshik.... a dance teacher..." 

"My name's Lee Hongbin....  I'm the new arts teacher..." 

"My name is Han Sanghyuk and I'm the new instrumental teacher " 

"My name is Jung Taekwoon.... I'm the other new vocal teacher..." 

*~*

What did you all think of it? Please comment :) 


	6. •6•

Hakyeon didn't know what to do. His emotions were all over the place. He confused, shocked, afraid, nervous. Why were they here? Why were they saying different names- aside from Hongbin of course- and why did they come back? Weren't they... gone? Leo- or Taekwoon as Hakyeon didn't know what to call him- had told them that they were sent away as in never to be seen again. So why were they here? Next thing he knew, he was on the ground as Minhyuk called out to him. 

"Hakyeon?! Hakyeon?!" Minhyuk yelled as he tried bringing his friend back to his senses. Suddenly, Hakyeon started crying and shaking as he curled himself into fetal position. The sudden change brought dread to Minhyuk's heart as he screamed, "Someone call the ambulance! He's having a panic attack!". Siwon was already on the phone, as he too knew the history of Hakyeon due to them being close too, so he shook his head and motioned that he was already doing it. 

The 5 newcomers were confused. Why did this man react the way he did when he saw them? "What do we do?" Wonshik asked the others who stood there confused. "I d-dont know.." Jaehwan replied, looking at the sobbing man. Taekwoon seemed to react first as he walked closer to the man. "W-What are y-you doing-g ..?" The man next to him asked, hugging the panicked boy closer. "He needs to breath.... if not he might risk fainting as air isn't going through his lungs" Taekwoon explained before pulling the boy away and setting him down in a position that allowed him to breath. "I need you to calm down.... if you continue at this rate you might go overboard and risk something with either your blood pressure or heart" Taekwoon said, making the man look at him. 

Hakyeon whimpered as he looked at the very familiar face. "Leo.... Leo.... Leo..." he whispered before pulling away. "You're not him.... you're not Leo.... you're not him.." Hakyeon sobbed, backing away from the strange man. No, this couldn't be. They weren't here. This was just a nightmare.... a very .... very ..... horrible nightmare. Hakyeon hated this. 

_Can't he wake up now?_

Minhyuk came to his side immediately and hugged him closer. Hakyeon whined and cried as he tried pulling away, but Minhyuk was always stronger than him. 

Before long, he fell into darkness. 

*~* 

When Hakyeon woke up, he found himself in a hospital bed. He was surprised to see a very tired Minhyuk and Siwon sleeping in the couch. He didn't mind the silence though, he was used to it. Then he remembered. Taekwoon.... Wonshik.... Jaehwan... Sanghyuk... Hongbin. Who were they really? Were they his beloved hyungs? His hyungs who had left him?

 "Hakyeon-ah? You're awake?" 

Hakyeon turned around to see Siwon waking up and smiling at him. "Yah.... are you feeling okay? Do you need anything? The doctor? Nurse? Hungry?" Siwon asked, walking towards him. "No thanks hyung..." Hakyeon whispered, leaning against the headboard. Siwon frowned a bit. "Hakyeon-ah..... you had us worried there yesterday.... you shut yourself away again... I want you to rest, I'll give you a month if you want but what you need right now is to rest" Siwon said, looking at Hakyeon who shook his head.

"No.... one week only... just give me a week ...." Hakyeon muttered, making Siwon nod. "I'll get someone to substitute for you..." Siwon said, ruffling his hair. Hakyeon pouted and smacked his hand away. Siwon gasped as he took his abused hand and cradled it. 

Cha Hakyeon just _slapped_ someone's hand. 

Hakyeon was a pretty likeable person and very cute and hated violence so all he'd ever do is scream when he got mad but that's all. So when Siwon had gotten hit by the very own angel and pride of the school it felt as if his world crashed down. Before long Siwon started to cry, startling Minhyuk awake. "Yah! Hyung you look pathetic why are you crying?!" Minhyuk screamed, looking at a dying whale called Siwon. "H-Hakyeonnie.... h-hit me...!! He hates-s m-me....!!" Siwon wailed as he kissed his hand. Minhyuk rolled his eyes as he walked over to Hakyeon, kicking Siwon on his way, and patting his hair affectionately. 

"Aigoo... our yeonnie is awake now..! Sorry  Hakyeon that you have to witness a dying whale on your floor... he's probably giving you headaches huh?" Minhyuk cooed, fondly patting Hakyeon's cheeks. Hakyeon scoffed as he smacked Minhyuk's hands away as well as he muttered a small, "so annoying...". Minhyuk stood there in shock, his mouth gaping, as he looked at his hand. 

"H-Hakyeon.... you smacked my h-hand..." Minhyuk stuttered. Hakyeon only turned away with a pout. Minhyuk began to whimper as he clutched his hand. "Why? D-Did I do something wrong...? H-Hakyeon?! Hakyeon?! D-Do you h-hate me?? Hakyeon?! Hakyeon?!!" Minhyuk wailed as he accompanied the dying whale on the floor. Hakyeon rolled his eyes in annoyance as he called the nurse. When he came in Hakyeon pointed to the two abused boys and said, "take them out, they're annoying me and making my head hurt", which only made the two wailing children cry even more. 

The nurse awkwardly escorted the two man children out before showing Hakyeon the form so he could sign out of the hospital. 

*~* 

Hakyeon had nothing to do as he sat down in his couch. Just why were they back? Did they reincarnate? Why was everyone named differently? Except Hongbin of course. Hakyeon let out a frustrated groan as he toppled to the floor. They didn't seem to remember him. Or else they'd.... well... he doesn't know. Hakyeon sighed, drinking the soju bottle as he stared at the tv screen. 

_"They loved their leader too much..."_

Hakyeon sprang up as the familiar voice rang in his ears. The story.... the story that Leo had told him before he left. Was the same thing happening to them? Hakyeon purses his lips at the thought. That was impossible, it was just another sad true story.... right? 

*~* 

When Hakyeon came back, he received gifts from almost every teacher and student. He had gotten straight to work and decided he'd just ignore the other 5. Whatever they were..... they wouldn't meddle in his life anymore. 

They didn't even _remember_ him. 

Hakyeon was almost going to complete his goal for the first day until someone stopped him. That someone was Jung Taekwoon. "We need to talk..." Taekwoon said, looking at Hakyeon. "I'm.... busy..." Hakyeon whispered, trying to look for an excuse. "No you're not.... come on" Taekwoon muttered before pulling on his wrist. 

Hakyeon gasped as he was suddenly yanked towards the classroom. "Why did you call me Leo?" Taekwoon asked, making Hakyeon freeze. "You just remind.... me of someone I knew...." he whispered. Taekwoon frowned as he stepped closer to him. "Who are you?" Taekwoon asked, looking at Hakyeon with confusion. Hakyeon only looked at him with an equally confused expression. "What do you mean?" Hakyeon asked. "I had a dream a couple of days ago.... a little boy was calling me Leo hyung... I didn't know why or who that kid was.... so when you called me Leo I sort of... got scared I guess..." Taekwoon replied, fiddling with his watch. Hakyeon's eyes widened at Taekwoon's words.

_Little boy? Leo hyung? Could it be him?_

Hakyeon shrugged and said, "nope... don't know about that.... but you just reminded me of a friend which is why I called you Leo...". Taekwoon only nodded, the reply seeming reasonable. "Well that's all then.... Hakyeon right? Yeah well... I hope you're okay now... you scared me last week...." Taekwoon said, grinning at him.   
Hakyeon only nodded and said "oh yeah.... sorry about that.... thanks ! I'll uh.... I'll leave first" before bowing and leaving. Taekwoon watched him leave the classroom as he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

"Just who are you Cha Hakyeon?"

*~* 

"1....2...3 Hop and done!" Hakyeon instructed, watching his class recite for the upcoming kpop dance contest. "Alright guys! Let's practice one more time! We need to get this right if we want to win!" Hakyeon said, clapping as a cheer. Not to long, someone came stumbling in. 

"Ravi- I mean..... wonshik?" Hakyeon said, looking at the panting man. "I need your.... h-help with... t-the studio..." Wonshik said in between breaths. Hakyeon only nodded and followed him, throwing a stern look at his class as a warning. 

Hakyeon followed Wonshik who pointed at a blaring radio. "What's wrong?" Hakyeon asked, wincing at the loud noise. "Can't turn it off...." wonshik mumbled. Hakyeon shook his head as he turned it off with a snap, making Wonshik gape at him. 

"Wah.... that's cool!" Wonshik muttered.   
Hakyeon felt a twinge of nostalgia, remembering the time he had made a paper crane and Ravi congratulated him for it. Hakyeon took a step back and muttered, "I'll leave first..". Wonshik stared at him in confusion before walking towards and taking his wrist. "Hey.... thanks for helping me" he said with a smile. 

Hakyeon only felt more depressed. The smiles were so alike. Wonshik only reminded him more and more of Ravi. Was Wonshik Ravi? Was Ravi Wonshik? Or was Wonshik Wonshik and Ravi Ravi? 

The questions hurt his head so he shook Wonshik's hand away. "Your welcome.... I need to get back to class before the kids get worried" he said and walked away, leaving a confused Wonshik. 

*~* 

It had been Hakyeon's birthday that day and once more, he received a lot of gifts and even a mini party in the teacher's room. "You're one year closer to death Cha!" Minhyuk yelled as he hugged Hakyeon close. "Gee thanks Minhyuk" Hakyeon said with a chuckle. Suddenly, Jaehwan seemed to walk closer to Hakyeon and Hakyeon had no idea what to do. "H-Hey Jaehwan..." Hakyeon said. "Hey Hakyeon! I didn't know it was your birthday today.... I would've gotten you a gift at least" he said with an apologetic smile. Hakyeon shook his head and replied, "oh no you don't need to get me anything it's fine!". 

"No I feel bad.... I'm usually a master with birthdays..." Jaehwan said, making Hakyeon's smile falter. 

_"Happy birthday to you.... happy birthday to you....  
Happy birthday dear Yeonnie! Happy birthday to you!" _

"Ken..." Hakyeon whispered, his heart breaking again. Jaehwan frowned when hearing the name. "Huh? What did you say?" Jaehwan asked, why had Hakyeon called him Ken? A name that seemed so foreign to him.... yet so familiar. Hakyeon shook his head and said, "no it's nothing I'm uh....I'm pretty sure you are....". Jaehwan decided to shrug it off as he smiled, "yup! Maybe next time I'll throw you a big party! If we become close friends that is.... and If you want to be friends..." Jaehwan awkwardly muttered, suddenly feeling stupid. Hakyeon laughed, much to the dismay of Jaehwan, before nodding, "sure.... I'd like that... you seem pretty cool and fun". 

Jaehwan smiled and winked, "that's it then! We're friends!". Hakyeon smiled back and was about to engage into a conversation when two men walked into them. "Are you stealing our yeonnie from us?! " Siwon accused, while Minhyuk shielded Hakyeon away from Jaehwan. Jaehwan only 'flipped' his imaginary long hair as he smiled, "Yes! I am! Hakyeon is my new best friend!". Siwon frowned and said, "I can easily fire you you know". "The board needs to know a reasonable cause for you to fire me.... I'm pretty sure they won't allow you to fire me if you say I'm trying to get along with the other teachers right?" Jaehwan said as Siwon's face turned more and more defeated. 

"Fine.... but Hakyeon still loves us more!" Siwon said as he hugged the birthday boy. Hakyeon rolled his eyes and said, "nope I love Jaehwan more". "We're soulmates" Jaehwan said as he pulled Hakyeon out of their embrace and the two hugged. 

Hakyeon froze as Jaehwan held him in his embrace. The arms.... the warmth.... they were so .... so familiar. Hakyeon's throat clogged up as he seemed to actually miss the warm hugs Ken used to give. The only difference was the scent. 

Ken's scent was that of cinnamon and Jaehwan wore a musky cologne. Hakyeon frowned. If he smelled like cinnamon then it would've been perfect. Hakyeon detached himself from Jaehwan before sticking his tongue out at his two best friends. 

*~* 

_"Hakyeon!"_

Hakyeon turned around only to see Hongbin running towards him with a stack of papers. Hakyeon stopped to wait for him and smiled seeing him let out an oomph. "Um, Heechul hyung said I should go to you for help when I needed to use the printer.... they say the only person who knows how to use it is you" Hongbin said with a grin. Hakyeon scoffed and shook his head, "Its because they're scared of the damn machine.... really how hard is it to use a printer?". Hongbin only laughed and followed him. "Alright, so um ..... you first do this...." Hakyeon muttered as he showed Hongbin what to do. "Thanks Hakyeon..... I uh.... I never got to talk to you all these days but you seem pretty cool!" Hongbin said with a grin. 

Hakyeon only nodded with a smile. "Thanks.... you do too..." he said. "Are you doing better now? Last time I saw you, you were um... well not doing so good" Hongbin said, wanting to not offend him. "Yeah I totally freaked out... no I um... yeah I'm okay now thanks for asking" Hakyeon said and patted Hongbin's shoulder. "Well.. break's almost over, we should head back to our classes" Hakyeon said, walking away to leave until Hongbin tapped his shoulder. "Listen... um some of the guys here and I were planning to go and eat lunch at this one place... just wanted to know if you wanted to come with us you're welcome to.." Hongbin said. Hakyeon wanted to say no. He was busy. He certainly did not  want to be with him and whatever guys he was talking about, yet he found himself nodding. Hongbin smiled brightly and said, "Great! We'll meet up in the teacher's lounge and then we'll go to eat okay?". Hakyeon nodded and then walked to his classroom, the feeling of regret pooling in his gut.

*~*

Hakyeon completely regretted this. He hated it. He turned down Minhyuk and Sungjae to be here with the people who don't remember him. Hakyeon couldn't calm his shaking hands, or the sweat collecting in his palms. 

Hakyeon would try not to make it too obvious, he did not want the others to ask questions. However, it all went down the drain when Sanghyuk placed his hand on his back to ask if he was okay. Hakyeon visibly flinched away from the hand, as his back still had many horrifying marks left and it reminded him of his father, but then apologized and said "Yes, I'm fine Hyuk- Sanghyuk..." Hakyeon took a deep breath and drank his water in hopes of calming him down.

The group stared at him in worry and Wonshik said, "If you want... you can go ahead back to the school...". Hakyeon shook his head and said, "no i'm fine... i'm fine... I just.. don't feel very comfortable in these types of places... it's too small and it brings back bad memories..". It wasn't entirely a lie, he did hate these types of mini restaurants... it would remind him of the times he'd run away from his father and hide in the restaurant until one of the employees eventually kicked him out. Hongbin immediately felt bad and said, "I'm sorry... I should've known... you can leave it's okay...". Hakyeon winced at that.

_"It's okay hyung!... it's okay!"_

Hakyeon felt the tears brim at his eyes as he abruptly stood up and bowed, "I'll leave first... thanks for the food and thanks for inviting me" Hakyeon said and practically ran from there. He drove, probably passing the speed limit, until he reached the school. He parked the car but made no movement to leave the car. He let out a scream and hit the steering wheel. "Why do you make it so difficult?!?!" Hakyeon screamed, followed by broken sobs and more screams. He didn't bother wiping his tears as he got out of the car and walked towards the school. When he entered, he saw the students suddenly look at him in worry.

 "Mr.Cha!" the familiar friendly voice made him turn around as he saw Jimin, one of his best dancers, walking towards him. "Are you okay sir?" He asked, making Hakyeon shake his head as his sobs came out even harder. "No... I'm not... It's too hard...." Hakyeon said, clutching onto Jimin's forearms as he stumbled to him. Jimin nodded and helped walk to the nurse's office.

*~*

"Hakyeon.. you've been acting weird ever since the new teachers came in... do you not get along with them?" Siwon asked, looking at the pale man in front of him. "no... i do get along with them... it's just... they keep reminding me of some people who've left... me..." Hakyeon replied, shaking as he shifted on the couch. Siwon frowned and nodded. "You should leave for now.... don't worry i'm not firing you you should just take a break... you're not relaxed and due to your last panic attack the doctor said it was pretty extreme so you would need to relax and i don't want to risk anything...." Siwon said, Hakyeon only whimpered and nodded. "It's hard for me hyung.... they look so much like them.." Hakyeon whispered, completely breaking down.

Siwon only frowned at him in worry as he hugged his friend, wanting to offer nothing but comfort. "It's okay Hakyeon.... you'll get better...." 

  
*~*

  
Months passed and Hakyeon was still not getting any better, instead he was getting paranoid. Hakyeon couldn't help it. They were bringing too many painful memories, too many beautiful memories that pained him as he knew he could never get them back. "They're not them... they're not them... they don't remember you.... stop it Hakyeon... they're not... they're not here anymore..." Hakyeon said to himself as he rocked back and forth in his bathroom floor. He so badly wanted to do it ... just one more time... Hakyeon wanted to and he needed  to. Hakyeon whimpered, curling into himself even more. He had been too heartbroken and he didn't want to be there anymore. They would constantly ask if he was okay... if he needed help. Hakyeon didn't want them... he wanted the real them. "Leo... Ravi...Hyuk.. Hongbin... Ken.." Hakyeon kept whispering, not even noticing the door opening. 

Minhyuk walked into the scene, followed by the other 5 that Hakyeon hated. They had planned to come and talk things out with Hakyeon. They wanted to know why Hakyeon seemed to be avoiding them. "Hakyeon..? Yeonnie...?" Minhyuk stuttered out as he collapsed next to his friend. "Hakyeon... Hakyeon...!" Minhyuk screamed, hurriedly calling 999 as the others watched in shock. "What are you doing just standing there?? Help me take him downstairs!!" Minhyuk yelled at the boys who stood there in confusion. 

_What had Hakyeon so broken?_

Wonshik and Taekwoon moved to take hold of Hakyeon until Hakyeon shoved them both away. "Get away from me!!! Get away from me!! Don't touch me! You're not them!! You're not Leo! You're not Ravi! Stop acting like them!! They're not coming back!!" Hakyeon screeched as he backed away further from them. They all stood there shocked as Hakyeon went to grab the razor laying on the floor, making Minhyuk stand in alarm. "Hakyeon.... put that down..." Minhyuk said, trying to reason with Hakyeon. Hakyeon only shook his head as he placed the razor near his wrist. 

"No! I'm tired!! I'm so goddamn tired of receiving all this pain in my life!! I lost them! I lost them! And then you!" Hakyeon pointed at the five behind Minhyuk. "You all just waltzed in here with the same bodies as my hyungs.... and YOU act the same as them.... you talk the same way as them.... you treat me the same way they did! And you don't even know me or remember me! So how was I supposed to react?! You all just came and destroyed my life again!". 

The others didn't know what to do or say. What was Hakyeon saying?! Who was he talking about?! 

"Hakyeon! I don't know who or what you're even talking about.... but I assure you... we are not them! Stop confusing us together and just put the razor down!" Jaehwan screamed as he dared to step further. Hakyeon only chuckled and stared at him with a gaze that gave everyone goosebumps. "Of course.... you aren't them..... you'll never be them..... because they..... they're dead..... so how could they.... come .... back...." Hakyeon whimpered as he fell back down on the floor, the exhaustion coming to him.  Hakyeon only smiled brokenly at them as tears flowed down once more. "They're dead...... gone.... they'll never come back to me again....." he whispered, leaning against the wall as he sobbed. He fisted his hands and started hitting the sides of his head as he screamed. 

Sanghyuk only walked towards him and kneeled down, pulling the razor away from his hand and hugged him closely. "I'm sorry hakyeon.... for whatever pain you're going through..... I'm sorry for being the cause of it..." he whispered, making Hakyeon cry even more. Minhyuk heard the medics open the door and call out to them. Hongbin went outside to tell them where the person who needed help was and Minhyuk almost regretted it. The words the doctor said to him came back, 

_"If he tries to harm himself once more.... he'll need to be submitted into our other hospital until he gets better..... and due to his past and current status.... I think it'll take some time for him to heal...."_

Minhyuk could only watch the medics force Hakyeon out and inject a sedate in him, making them all wince. "What made him act like this hyung?" Hongbin asked Minhyuk. Minhyuk could only shrug as he himself didn't even know why Hakyeon turned out like this. 

The only thing he knew was that Hakyeon deserved to be at peace. **_Truly at peace._**

*~* 

Please comment!! 


	7. FINAL

**ready the for the last chapter?**

**WARNING!!**

**This chapter contains major character death and suicide, so if you're hesitant about this you can skip the parts that begin with this sign**

**!!!**

**The part with the suicide scene will start and end with those three exclamation marks**

**Anyway, enjoy reading :3**

***~***

Hakyeon thought it was too white.

The 26 year old didn't like his room. It was too bright for his eyes and he hated the closed space. It was suffocating to be in there also. Too draining, too lonesome. He wasn't allowed to see  his friends fro more than an hour, and he was always forced to participate in therapy works but those didn't _work._ Hakyeon was simply a walking skeleton now, too pale and too skinny. He found it hard to sleep too. "Hakyeon-sshi... it's time for you to take your medicine..." The nurse said kindly, offering him the tray that contained his pills. Hakyeon didn't move at first, secretly wishing the medicine would disappear. He then slowly took the pills and eventually swallowed them with a gulp of water.

"when... when can i leave?" Hakyeon asked, looking at the nurse with a look of desperation. The nurse could only frown sadly at him and reply, "I don't know sir... but I promise you if you cooperate with us then you can get better and leave sooner if you want". Hakyeon only chuckled and nodded, "Alright... cooperate... ". The nurse bowed and left, too sad to face the broken emotionless man anymore. "Hakyeon?" Hakyeon perked up at the sound of his own name, who was it? He was alone in this room...

"Who is... it?" Hakyeon whispered, looking everywhere to see if he can find the source of the voice. "Hakyeon-ah.... remember me..?" Hakyeon turned around, his eyes widening as he saw... _himself_. "W-who are you...?" Hakyeon muttered, fear crawling up his spine. "Forgotten about me huh? Hakyeon come on, it's me... _N_ "

**_"Who are you?!"_ **

**_"Hello... Hakyeon-ah... my name is N... I'm your new friend.."_ **

_It couldn't be...._

_He was.... N?_

_N as in... Leo hyung's leader?_

_but that's impossible! He's never even met the guy!_

_How could he possibly 'remember' him??_

"You haven't changed at all...... You still look the same..." N said as he reached to touch Hakyeon, who flinched away. N retreated his hand and his smile faltered, "How've you been...?" N asked, trying to make a conversation. "What are you doing here.... aren't you... Leo hyung's leader?" Hakyeon said, backing away until he was sitting on his bed. N frowned at the mention of his best friend's name. "yes..." he replied, looking down at his shoes as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. "What happened..? Did you leave them..? Why do we look alike...?" Hakyeon asked, wanting answers. "do you... do you remember the story Leo told you that one night?" N asked. "Yes.... about the leader who went against the rules" Hakyeon responded as he got more and more confused. What did stories have to do with anything?

"That story... is mine... " N said, making Hakyeon's eyes widen. "W-what..? H-how.... I....." Hakyeon stuttered out as he curled into himself.

_"His punishment.. was that he'd be reincarnated as the boy who had died.... and he'd go through what he did... but much worse.."_

Hakyeon looked at N in disbelief. Was he... the boy? "N... you... you went against the rules..?" Hakyeon said, not wanting to know the answer. N only smiled sadly and placed his hand on Hakyeon's forehead.

__year_1976_ Hakyeon: 8 years old_

_The boy ran out of the shop, hugging close to him the only edible thing he could manage to grab, trying to search for a place he could hide in and wolf down the food he had gotten. He reached a tree and climbed up to hide from the screaming owner._

_"You're stealing food again..."_

_"What?! W-Who is that?! W-Who are you?! " Hakyeon screamed, turning around only to see a man in the tree branch near him. "W-what..? H-how did you.." Hakyeon stuttered, looking at the smiling man. "Hello.... Hakyeon-ah..my name is N... I'm your new friend.."_

*~*

_The liquid drops from the metal pipes, the all too familiar sounds roam across the room._

_The petite boy is in the corner, hugging his knees close to him, his hands clutching each other desperately. Singing to himself quietly the song his new friend had taught him._

_"Butterfly, butterfly_

_come fly, fly_

_yellow butterfly, white butterfly_

_come here while dancing_

_petals dance in the breeze too_

_smiling, smiling, and laughing_

_the sparrows tweet, tweet, tweet_

_singing while dancing"_

_, He shifted around in his spot, the cold was gettting to him. He rocked back and forth as he kept repeating the name of his only friend. "N hyung... N hyung... N hyung..." He whispered, curling into himself as he wished could just disappear. Said man suddenly appeared in front of him. "Hakyeon... he hurt you again..." N said as he took the boy in his arms. "Hyung!" Hakyeon wailed as he clung onto him. N sighed as he enveloped the boy in his arms._

_"It's okay Yeonnie... It's okay... you'll be okay..."_

_*~*_

__year_1983_ Hakyeon: 15 years old_

_"Cha Hakyeon!"_

_Hakyeon turned around and smiled seeing his hyung. "N-hyung!" Hakyeon said but froze when seeing N's look of worry. "Hyung..?" Hakyeon whispered. "Hakyeon-ah... they found out.." N said, making Hakyeon's eyes widened. "Did the higher ups... know ou revealed yourself in front of me?" Hakyeon asked worriedly. N shook his head and said, "No.. my team.. they found out... maybe they'll report me... I don't know but... Hakyeon... ". Hakyeon only stared at him in worry. "Hakyeon... I might need to go away... but don't worry.. they won't harm you..." N said. Hakyeon shook his head as he saw N fade out. "N HYUNG!!"_

_*~*_

_Hakyeon was restless... what happened to N? W _here was he? Would he come back?__

__As if his prayers were answered, N appeared before him with a gleeful smile. Hakyeon threw himself at him with a cry of joy. "N hyung!" He said as tears poured out. N only laughed and hugged him. "My team... they agreed to help me meet with you" N said as he set the boy down. Hakyeon stared at him in shock before he laughed. "Does that mean i can meet them?" Hakyeonsaid, his eyes with a glint of hope. N frowned and shook his head. "No, my job as leader is to protect them too... i don't want them to be in the same situation i'm in.. they're doing enough with risking themselves to let me meet you.. " N said, making Hakyeon pout. "Tell them i said thank you then.." Hakyeon said, making N nod._ _

__*~*_ _

___Year_1989_ Hakyeon: 21 years old_ _

  
__Hakyeon felt pain all over. He felt numb. What was going on? One thing he knew he was on the bus way home, then he was on the floor with pain everywhere. He didn't have time to react as he was taken to the hospital. No, he can't go there... he needs to feed his mother. Hakyeon found himself in a white room with doctors rushing everywhere. He turned his head to the side, his eyes widening when seeing N stand there with tears streaming down his face. "Yeonnie... I'm sorry.. I couldn't protect you.." N whimpered, walking closer to him. Hakyeon only weakly shook his head and muttered, "It's not.. your.. fault.." N sobbed as he fell to his knees, his hands clutching Hakyeon's. "Is it time... for me to go..?" Hakyeon asked, making N sob harder. Hakyeon only stared up at the cieling. He knew the answer...._ _

__"Goodbye... N hyung."_ _

__*~*_ _

__"This man... rebelled against the rules and revealed himself in front of the boy"_ _

__N ignored the many glances thrown at him as he stood in front of the judges. "Leader N... is this true?" Judge Hester said. N looked up and managed to catch the sight of his team standing in the front row amongst the other angels watching him with scared eyes. N only looked back at the judges and nodded, "yes.. it's true". A cry of protest was heard from the crowds of angels as they all began taking sides._ _

__"N IS INNOCENT! HE DID NO HARM!"_ _

__"PUNISH HIM!! "_ _

__N only closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was useless... he'd earn a punishment.. or even worse.. death._ _   
  


_"SILENCE!! N IS TO BE PUNISHED FOR THE CRIME COMITTED!" Judge Raon screamed. Everyone went quiet. One of the most loved angels was to be.... punished? N closed his eyes once more, remembering the smile Hakyeon wore. Yeah.. it was worth it. "Your punishment..... to live as the boy you revealed yourself ... you shall be reincarnated as him and live through the same harshments he went through.. but much worse.." Judge Hester ordered, making everyone gasp. "And your team... shall not meet you whatsoever.. or they'll be punished as well.." N felt tears brim at his eyes as he looked at his team that he loved so much. Leo, Ken, Ravi, Hongbin, Hyuk. The team stared back with equally bloodshot eyes as unspoken thoughts went through their mind. Guards went to take his arms and led them through the door as he rasped out, "Wait.. wait... let me say bye...". The guards ignored him as they closed the door._

_The next day, he found himself in front of a pure white door with the judges behind him. "When you walk through this door.... you'll wake up as the boy..." Judge Lou said. N turned to look at them as he said, "Please.. let my team off the hook.. they had no participation in this.... that's all i want to say... " and began walking towards the door. "Wait!" Judge Hester yelled. N turned around in slight shock, what did she want to say? "Don't you regret it? Going against us.. just to see the boy? A mortal?" She said, staring at N with a look that he knew, that not even she wanted him to go. N smiled at her and shook his head. "No, I don't.." He said before taking a deep breath and walking out the door._

__present_day_

__Hakyeon stared up at N who smiled weakly at him. "whatever happens.. Hakyeon-ah.. remember, it isn't your fault..." N said before disappearing. Hakyeon let out a strangled scream, the pain was still there.

*~*

_"Hakyeon... Hakyeon..."_

Hakyeon woke up, only to see his room lit up with a blue light. That's weird, at this time of night the room would be completely dark. Hakyeon thought about N, his throat clogging up. it was him all along.. all along.... _"Hakyeon... Hakyeon..."_ Hakyeon turned and to his own surprise... his door was open. He walked towards it hesitantly, would it shut if he ttried to get out? He looked outside and saw the lights hanging up from the cieling shine down, creating an eerie oath towards the outside. He gulped before walking out. _"Hakyeon-ah... Hakyeon-ah...."_. Hakyeon heard it. Hakyeon wanted to go nearer. So he did. He walked closer and closer to the voice, wanting to see who it was. _"Come closer... inside"_

Hakyeon's eyes widened as he recognized the room.

_The medicine room._

**!!!**

****_Take it Hakyeon... you want it... take it..._

Hakyeon hesitated but the voice was always right... the voice spoke the truth. He grabbed a handful of the colorful pills and gulped them down. "i'm okay... I'm okay..." he whispered. He fell limp on the floor as he smiled, tears flowing down his cheeks. "Im... free.." He whispered and closed his eyes at the sound of the familiar song. He smiled half-heartedly and felt his head collide with the cold tile floor. He winced but nevertheless still heard the hum of the soft lullaby. 

_"Butterfly, butterfly_

_come fly, fly_

_yellow butterfly, white butterfly_

_come here while dancing_

_petals dance in the breeze too_

_smiling, smiling, and laughing_

_the sparrows tweet, tweet, tweet_

_singing while dancing"_

**!!!**

N stared at the dying boy as he fell to the floor and sobbed, his hand clutching his mouth as he tried muffling his screams. "Now you know N... what happens when you go against the rules... you've... _fallen.."_ N turned around and glared at the floating angel in hatred. "It's your damn fault... it's your damn fault!!" N sccreamed, pain engulfing his back. "You're a fallen angel N....you're a fallen angel.." He repeated before disappearing. N could only stare at Hakyeon as his once proud wings were cut off, the pain blinding him to fall into the darkness. The last sight of Hakyeon being found by the doctors was what was engraved in N's mind.. a scene he'd never forget.

*~*

N stared at the couple sitting on the bench of the park, smiling happily at each other. N smiled at the sight. "You've found someone to make you happy huh Minhyuk-ah?" N said, before standing up and leaving. He roamed the streets. happily watching the others enjoy of the holidays. He stared at the shop in front of the bench he sat in and smiled. The familiar house Hakyeon lived in was all he remembered. "Who would've known.. it got turned into a shop.." N said and looked up once he felt the soft snowflakes _f_ all on his hand.

_"N hyung...?"_

N froze as he turned around, joy surging through him as he looked at his old team. Tears flowed down as he smiled and whispered, _"Hello.."_


	8. How It All Came To Be; part 1

**Here is the bonus chapter as promised :) Not edited**

**_Let's begin shall we?_ **

*~*

_A child is a pure creature, a creature not prepared for the dangers of the world. That is why we protect the purity of it's soul.... the purity is what drawns most of the evil within one's self. Why? Pureness is something that can be easily fooled, taken advantage of, and even taken away. That is why Guardian angels were created, to protect  not only the purity of the child, but it's soul. However, one can't always succeed. The children can grow up to be known as one of the cruelest people. They can grow up to be known as one of the most saddest people. They can grow up to be known as one of the craziest, as one of the sickest, as one of the hated, as one of the abandoned._

_The world is a very wicked place for the purity of a child to be in, but the gods have ordered it to be this way. The rules weren't always as they are now, but it served as protection to the angels. If the angels were to be revealed in front of the child or person they are to protect, the risk of the angels being exposed to humanity would become very very dangerous. The humans could easily go against the angels and possibly kill them,or keep them as slaves, the angels were obviously weak to anything that is silver and as it happened once, it could happen again. So when the angel is born, they are to obey the rules and fullfil their task as a guardian, nothing more nothing less._

_But that does not change the curiosity of the angel._

*~*

"N is awake..... "

The boy opened his eyes, only to meet the sight of a white cieling. "Too... bright.." He rasped out, covering his eyes with his arm. "N... are you alright?" He heard the voice of someone ask him. _My name is... N?_ The boy eventually placed his arm down and turned his head, only to see a woman with long white hair in a long white gown, pieces of gold engraved on her forehead. "Is that my name?" The boy asked, making the woman smile and nod. "You're N... and you're one of the new guardian angels" She said, grabbing N"s arms and helping him to stand up. "Guardian... angel?" N muttered, wobbling on his legs a bit. "Yes.... of course, you'll need training... you'll be added into a group for that... and then you'll neeeed to go to school and then you'll be ready to protect your first child" The woman said, a wide smile on her face. N could only furrow his eyebrows together in confusion as he followed the girl. "What do you mean...?" N asked, looking down at his gown and looking around to see men and women walking around.

"It's okay N, you might be confused right now... but I promise you'll know everything once you complete your training"

"W-who are you..?" N asked, looking at the beautiful woman as she turned around. "My name is Rain.... I'm your creator"

*~*

To say training was easy was a lie. N wasn't too fond of the idea of combat and he was certainly not up to hurting anyone else. That made his teachers worry. "N-ah... you're too soft... you can't be like this ... your position is leader.... a leader has to experienced in some sort of combat..." Judge Hester said as she stood in front of the guardian angel in training. "I don't think I would be useful in combat my lord, or at least the skill in fighting without weaponry... I'm quite... sensitive inthat.." N muttered, lookig down in embarrasment. "Then what do you think is for you?" Judge Raon said. "Bow and arrow" N said, looking at them with a smile. "Bow and arrow..? N... that is a skill for the others in your group... not as a leader.." Judge Lou said, not content at the fact that one of his favortie pupils was interested in a mere weapon. "but Leeteuk- ssi let me try it out yesterday and he tole me I was good for a first timer" N said, looking at them with hopeful eyes. "I would need to have a word with Leeteuk.." Lou mutterd as he walked to the others.

"NO!"

The judges froze when N shouted, no one dared to speak over them. "Judge Lou! I promise! I promise I'll become just as good of a leader as Suho, Kris, Taeyeon, Jennie, Namjoon, and the others! I promise! Please let me learn bow and arrow!" N pleaded as he kneeled in front of them. Silence flooded the room as the judges were taken aback from the actions of the young angel. "N-ah.. it is not wise to kneel" Judge Raon scolded, making N stand up. "I-" N began but Judge Lou raised his hand, a sign to tell him not to go further. "Fine, you can learn the bow and arrow... but know this N, you must be at the top of that class... or at least in the top five... if not, you're sent back to combat.." Judge Lou ordered, before walking out. N was basically glowing as he walked out of the head office. "N-hyung! How was it? Did they approve?" Ken asked as he tucked his wings inside his body. N only nodded and the boy squealed. "Great!! We can both go to the class at the same time!" Ken said and hugged the boy.  
  


Eventually, the day came when N showed up to his first class in archery. Leeteuk seemed to be happy that N was in his class now and the classmates were happy as well, as they looked up to anyone who's rank was leader. "Wah.. so cool! We have a leader in our class!" One of the girls squealed, making N smile. "Looks like you're fitting in just fine hyung" Ken said and hugged him. N laughed as he picked up the bow and positioned the arrow to aim at the target. He slowly pulled back, took a deep breath, and released.

it hit the target.

*~*

The first time N met Leo, was at the class of the history of angels. How terribly _boring_. N was sure he'd die of boredom as he poked at the dark haired partner of his. "Leo~~ Leo~~" N whispered, playing with the strand of hair. Leo was really a nice kid and N was at first scared of him, but when he saw Leo offer him a pencil he couldn't help but think, _how cute_. Leo didn't know his partner could be _this_ annoying. "Hey, can you let me pay attention" Leo snapped, yanking his arm away. N could only chuckle and sit up. "Don't you think this is boring? What good will this do for the humans we're to protect?" N snorted, lazily picking at the corner of the paper. "You know, for a leader you are really immature" Leo muttered, making N stifle a laugh. "You think I wanted to be leader? No.... mother just said i'd be in the leader rank...." N replied, looking down at the paper before scribbling on it. Leo's eyebrows furrowed. "Surely... you must've been honored.... to be leader?" Leo asked.

"No... never... I'm quite different from the other leaders.... they all live up to that name.... they all choose to follow the role and never do anything they want to do" N replied, jotting down the answers in the paper. Leo, intrigued by the logic of the leader, asked, "Then why don't you do it? Even if they don't want to they still do it, and besides... you can be punished for not following the rules". N only shrugged and replied, "I guess..... I'm not normal then.... I find it hard to live up to those expectations... ". Leo stayed quiet as he tried processing the words N had said. Leo however, looked down at his paper and his eyes widened as he saw each question answered with the correct answers. "B-But you w-weren't paying attention.....h-how..?" Leo muttered, making N wink. "I'm a leader Leo, it's my job to listen... I just... do other stuff _while_ listening" N said, before standing up to give the teacher his paper.

Leo watched N as he kept playing around with the stuff near him, but he always answered correctly. Leo was intrigued by him. Leo knew this boy was different... and he liked it.

*~*

It wasn't that he liked being around the weird leader, no not at all. He just liked his way of thinking. Yeah.. that's it. Leo would find himself following the boy around, adn the elder wasn't complaining. In fact, he enjoyed his presence. Soon, Leo met Ken, who was another hyper boy who mastered archery as well. It took a while for Leo to get used to Ken, but he soon found himself also enjoying his company. Not long after, Leo admitted that _yes_. He _did_ classify both N and Ken as friends... and he came to love them both very much. It came to the point that the other angels who 'picked' on N for being a weak leader stopped _glancing_  at the boy once Leo had a talk with them.

Sure, the talk may have caused him a punishment but it was worth it. He wouldn't need to see the very.... very _revolting_ tears that came from the leader. It's not that they made him look ugly, oh no N was such a beautiful creature. But the tears tore N apart, it broke him. Once N cried, every angel could basically feel the radiation of the pain/happiness/desperation or whatever other emotion he felt that made him cry. Leo was sure that even when he felt discomfort, N was really the only one in pain. None of them knew why, but when Leo and Ken went to ask the judges just told them that it had something to do with his _creator._ Leo could only feel anger towards the angel or god or godess or whatever creature created N for implanting such a cruel thing on him. Nevertheless, Leo was glad to see one reason that made N cry go down. Now, he wished for things to go as smoothly as the were now. But he couldn't help but feel a bit sad because he felt that it wouldn't last forever, so he treasured whatever moments he could get with them three together.

*~*

N became a master at archery, and he surpassed Baekhyun and Lay, who were obviously the top two of the class. The judges were proud at seeing him complete his goal, and they were certainly proud of him fulfilling his role as leader. Soon, they were pretty confident in N being able to anything. Literally anything. Which is why he was in front of the judges, who were scolding a boy who was in the weaponry  rank. "Ravi... you need to be careful on what you choose to do, you wouldn't want to turn into a demon and leave your rank would you?" Judge Hester said, while the boy only looked down ashamed. N felt pity towards the boy and he found himself standing between the judges and Ravi. "My lords, what seems to be the problem with Ravi?" N asked, shielding the boy from them. The judges froze from shock, as what N did could be taken as a personal offense to any angel, no matter what rank. "N-ah... w-what.." Judge Raon muttered, only for N to say, "My lords, please... do not take the boy too seriously.. he's barely been created and he's getting accustomed to the areas around him... if you feel like he won't do good alone then let me be in charge of him".

The room went quiet, was N serious? Ravi stared at the boy in leader rank, judging from the gold band on his sleeve, in shock. He didn't even know Ravi... so why was he sticking up for him? Judge Lou looked at the determination the boy held in his eyes, and he felt as if N was seriously considering in taking care of Ravi. "N-ah... Ravi is... he's going through some hard times I'm sure he needs to be alone to meditate-" Judge Hester began as she reached out towards him, only for N to back away. "No.... it is never okay to leave someone in need alone.. I refuse to not give him help" N said, taking hold of Ravi's wrist and yanking him away.

"N! LEADER N!!"

N could care less, Ravi was just a beginner how could he be expected to do everything right at once?

The black haired boy watched as the red head pulled him away from the judges, eyes widened. _Why was he doing this?? Wouldn't he get in trouble??_ Ravi could only watch in shock as N kept turning back to see him with a smile. Before Ravi knew it, he was in the middle of the oak tree garden. "That was fun...!" N said, laughing loudly as he clapped Ravi's back. "Hope the judges didn't scare you... don't worry... they're not that bad" N said with a chuckle before looking up at Ravi. N immediatley went quiet and he suddenly felt small. "Why did you do that?!" Ravi scowled at him, a glare that sent chills down N's spine. "I-I just... wanted to h-help you.." N muttered. Ravi scoffed and ran a hand through his hair, "That was my business!! What makes you think you can meddle with it?! Just because you're in teh leader rank doesn't make you superior than me, we're all students here no matter what rank!!". "I-I never said... t-that I'm superior... I j-just wanted t-to help..." N whispered. Ravi could only shake his head in disbelief, god, this boy was so stupid!

"N hyung!!"

Ravi turned around in annoyance only to see two boys, one with caramel brown hair and a foreign nose the other with black hair and piercing eyes. "What was he doing to you?!" foreign nose guy said. "Nothing Ken... we were just talking..." N replied. "Well him shouting and you at the verge of tears isn't exactly talking N-ssi" Black haired man said as he glared at Ravi. "N-no... you misunderstood...." N stuttered out, making Ravi angry that an angel of his rank wasn't strong enough to defend himself. "N was it? Listen... I don't want to see your face anymore... so please leave me alone ... and personally I find it disgraceful that a person like you is in the leader rank... you couldn't even fight against me who's bellow you!" Ravi sneered, smiling smugly before a fist collided against his cheek which sent him to the ground. "LEO!"   
  


"Don't you ever talk to N that way!! He may not be as strong as most leaders... but he can still outsmart you... and let me tell you... if he doesn't want to hurt you for disrespecting him.. I will!" Leo screamed as he lunged towards him. Ravi immediately lifted his arms in front of his face to block the punch, but felt nothing. He looked up and gaped to see N standing full height, his wings displayed at full length, his hand extended and a bright purple light surrounding it, as well as his eyes. They seemed like flames. "Leo... what did I say about fighting?!" N spoke in a low and menacing voice. It was then that Ravi noticed Leo on the ground on his knees as he struggled to get out of the grip of the purple flame. Leo only huffed annoyingly and muttered a soft, "Sorry.." and N let him go. It was then that N collapsed into Ken's arms. "Hyung! I told you that you shouldn't use your power! You haven't mastered it yet!" Ken scowled, making N smile weakly. "I'm okay Kennie... let's just take care of Ravi... " N muttered, turning to look at him. Ravi only groaned before standing up, spreading his wings, and flied away.

*~*

Ravi was mad for the least, he had still recieved punishment and that was to go clean the aftermath of the angel duels. But for now, he just vente out his anger on the training sites they had. Ravi kept blasting away each pop up with no hesitation, as the image of N kept finding their way back into his mind. Ravi could only scream in frustration as he kept slicing the statues with his swords. Who cared? Ravi certainly didn't, N was nothing but someone who wanted to pretend to be his friend and-

"Hey! You!"

Ravi turned around only to see the same two guys standing above him on the platform with a look of disapproval. "What are you doing here? You going to fight me?" Ravi taunted, waving his swords in a mocking manner before scoffing and continuing his fight. "No... we just wanted to inform you that N is taking the punishment for you" Ken said, drawing his swords back into their scabbard. Ravi froze before blinking and muttering, "What..?". "Yeah... he went up to the judges and took the blame for whatever actions you did... so now you don't have to worry about cleaning the fields anymore...." Leo spit out rather hrshly as he glared at him. "I never asked im to do it! Crazy fool.... why'd he take the blame if i made it clear i wanted nothing to do with him anymore?!" Ravi said, dropping the swords in anger. "That's leader N for you... he's always helping others even if it means accepting the blame for something he didn't commit..... " Leo added, sighing in disapointment. "so then.... what are you going to do?" Ken asked.

Ravi only shrugged and picked up the swords. "If he wants to do it... then let him... It'd his fault for accepting it anyway" Ravi declared before turning around and once again blasting the artificial bodies. Before he knew it, he heard the flapping of wings slowly disappear. He paused abruptly, the sword still in the side of the dummy. Sighing, he yanked the sword away and placed them both back on the rack. He couldn't help but feel a tiny bit bad for the angel. Just a tiny bit.

*~*

N whined for the 50th time that night as he struggled to pick up the _very_ heavy trident. "Why don't you guys ever at least take your weapons back..?" N mumbled, settling on dragging the replica of Posiedon's trident. Sometimes N wished the gods would keep their weapons to themselves, but noooo they let the angels create replicas ( but of course, it didn't posess the same power the originals had.. they were merely just objects without power) and use them for battle. _"Need help with that?"._ N yelped in shock and let go of the trident before turning around and taking out his bow, the arrow securely poised towards... Ravi. N's breathing hitched at the sight of the angel. He gulped in nervousness before quickly shaking his head and turning around to pick the trident back up. Ravi held back in his scowl, before walking behind and lifting the trident with ease. N gawked at him in amazement. "H-How ... c-could you... what?!" N said as he pinched himself to confirm he wasn't dreaming.

Ravi only chuckled and said, "Am i that handsome? Come on leader! open the gates so we can clean these". N immediately nodded and practically _zoomed_ to open the gates to the cleaners. By the time they managed to get everything done, they were both sitting on the floor completely exhausted. "Hey leader... why did you take my place?" Ravi asked, his seriousness back. N stayed quiet before whispering, "I meant it...". Ravi tunred to look at him in confusion. "What are you tslking about?" Ravi asked. "About... not leaving you alone... and thst I'm going to help you.." N replied, mentally preparing himself for Ravi's outburst. Surprisingly, Ravi only laughed. "N... you are one crazy angel.... but fine... do whatever you want... and thanks ... for taking my job as yours although you should not do it again because this was not your punishment... it was mine... and I should recieve those consequences... no matter what.." Ravi said, standing up and offering N a hand. N stared at him for a while, in disbelief, before smiling widely and accepting the hand. Ravi could only shake his head at his giggly figure before thinking,

_you may not be so bad after all...._

*~*  
  
 _"Have you seen the new angels?"_

_"I heard they used to be mortals..."_

_"No way.... humans picked by the gods?"_

_"Wouldn't that make them demigods then..?"_

_"No you idiot...a demigod is the offspring of a god and a mortal.... these humans were just selected to resurrect as angels!"_

_"So... they're not demigods?"_

_"No Jun.. they're angels!"_

_"That weren't created by the gods and godesses?"_

_"Oh lord... not you too Vernon!"_

N perked up curiously at the whispers of the angels that were crowding around. So, N being N, he did the most rational thing to do. He walked towards them and demanded more informaton on the new comers. "Their names start with an H... for both of them... Hobin...? Hyubi?" Seungkwan muttered before shaking his head in annoyance. "Sorry leader N... don't remember their names" Seungkwan said, making N nod and frown. Guess he'll have to search for these new angels.

Leo was only walking, enjoying the new garden, before he heard a high pitched "LEOOOOOOOOO". Leo immediately searched for a place to hide, and when he did he was about to lunge for it until he froze. the familiar sight of purple made him groan in annoyance before admitting to defeat. The only thing Leo could understand from the lovely rant N had was about "New angels" and "mortals" and "not created by the gods and godesses". Leo could take only so much rambling before he slapped his hand towards N's mouth and released some of the calming aroma he held in power. N instantly calmed down and Leo once more asked him to explain what was going. When n finished his 'speech' Leo could only quirk his eyebrow up. "So, you want to meet the new angels... and you want to befriend them... you want to befriend angels that used to be mortals" Leo said, making N nod happily. Leo sighed and shook his head. "N, i think its best if we wait to confim this.... who did you get information out of anyway?" Leo asked. "Seungkwan..." N muttered, which made Leo groan. "The kid is barely in the b rank... and he knows this stuff?" Leo asked. "Yes... he works in the offices of the judges so he must've heard some of it..." N replied.

As if it was N's lucky day, Ravi and Ken came running over with two other unfamiliar angels behind them. "N, Leo... we'd like you to meet the new angels! Hongbin and Hyuk!" Ken said dramatically before shoving them infront. N could only gasp in admiration. "You're so... handsome...." N muttered, making both angels blush. "H-hi... I'm Hyuk... this is Hongbin" Hyuk said and smiled, making n squeal. "Leo! It'd them! The mortals picked by the gods!" N said, shaking Leo's shoulder. Hyuk and Hongbin could only sigh at the mention of 'mortals'. "It's like the billionth time we hear that..." Hongbin whined, making N feel guilty. "Ah... sorry...about that.." N muttered. "Oh no it's okay... it's just...we've been hearing it a lot" Hyuk reassured the leader, who brightened immediately. "Really?! That's great! What's your ranking?" N asked, wanting to see their bands. "Um, I've got this purple band..." Hongbin said, taking out the purple silk. "I got blue" Hyuk explained. "Ah... Hyuk is on the medical department..." Ravi muttered, making Hyuk smile in excitement. "What am I then...?" Hongbin asked, showing the purple band. "Hm, you're a combat rank..." N muttered. Hongbin frowned, "Is that a bad thing...?". "No... it just means you're strong and good in fighting... unlike me ...." N said, remembering the past.

"Leo is in combat..." N said, pointing to Leo's purple band on his ankle. "That's cool!" Hongbin said, much to Leo's annoyance. "Maybe you can go with Leo!" Ravi offered, followed by a glare from said man. Hongbin noticed it and gulped. "Don't worry... Leo's a softie... he'll warm up to you soon" Ken whispered, sensing his nervousness. Hongbin only nodded and wished for his own luck.

*~*

Just as Ken said, Hongbin and Leo turned out to be combat buddies and boy was Leo happy to have a partner for once in his class. The group seemed to hit off well, they were all just a group of people who stuck out like sore thumbs yet they all managed to fit in perfectly. They soon learned that Hyuk and Hongbin did know that they used to be mortals  and knew each other in their past life, but they had a friend who turned out to be a demigod, the son of Artemis. The demigod had weakened due to a poison he drank, and he was put in grave danger when the villagers had found out about the boy. They planned on keeping him as a toy, since he held some of the powers of Artemis... and they were so engulfed in the idea of curing the pregnant wife of the village leader, whom had been bedridden due to a disease and was at risk of dying or losing the baby or even worse... both at risk of death. They learned that the two boys had tried to save the demigod and succeeded, they even met the goddess who thanked them deeply. But during the process, they had been shot by arrows and were quickly loosing their blood. Artemis had managed to save their souls and take them to heaven, where they ressurected as angels. The group found the story incredibly amazing and they were proud of calling them friends. The group also learned of how Ken and N became friends. It was a funny story really, N had caught Ken ditching his archery class and the boy sent him back. It was then that he got so intrigued by the skill. Before long, he and Ken both crossed paths until they decided each other likeable and thus the result of friends.

The group had their ups and downs, but they never failed to get back together. Each one of them succeeded in their rank, quickly progressing and achieving more and more privileges. Soon, the lonely and scared leader turned to be one of the most respected leaders. The mischevious and cocky Ken turned out to be one of the top archers. The cold and distant Leo turned into the number one combat skilled, and he no longer had problems with communication. The rebelious Ravi turned out to be a master in weaponry, and he was soon qualified to be a teacher for it when his rank was stilll a rank of a student. The boy who felt as if he didn't belong, Hongbin, found his place in the combat rank, he became the second place combat master and he was fine with it. The miserable Hyuk became a master in the medical rank, and he was prized to be one of the judge's favored angel medic. Yeah, the boys were all content as they found their place in the scary angel world. They all had one person to thank. One person who was there for each one of them no matter what.

Leader N.

Their leader. The judges had seen the influence N had on the angels, and they were heartbroken to see that they did not want to be seperated. So they did the only logical thing. They made them into a team. That team, who was lead by N, was finally ready to become Guardian Angels. The boys looked  at the photo of the newborn baby, the baby they would be protecting. "What's her name?" Leo asked, completely smitten at the sight of the precious creature. "Her name is Michiru.... she was born premature... and she's the first child you are to protect.." Judge Raon said. The boys nodded firmly, knowing the full responsibility they were to bear. The judges looked at them with pride.

a feeling that would sadly not last.

N looked at the boys and nodded. "Alright then.... let's do this.." He said before opening the portal to the mortal world. It was then that he felt a twinge of fear in him. What if he were to fail? What if he were to mess up? All the worries in his head, however, disappeared once he felt someone clutch his hand. He turned around and grinned, seeing the reassuring smile on Leo's face. "it's okay.." Leo whispered, making N regain confidence. He was right. It would all be okay. Everything they've trained for is for this... and N would not let it go to waste. So he took a deep breath and entered the portal.


	9. How it All Came to Be pt.2

_Not edited_

_*~*_   
  


_"Michiru.."_

_"_ Leo said, the name of the petite girl rolling off his tongue perfectly. The group chuckled quietly, watching Leo watch her fondly. "She's so small..." Leo cooed, approaching the girl who was busy playing with her dolls. "Leo, stop you might freak the girl out" Ken said, shaking his head in amusement. "In case you forgot, she can't see us" Leo retorted as he looked at the girl, sudden saddness engulfing him. N was quiet throughout the whole ordeal, thinking, _Why can't we let her see us?_ Of course, he knew the answer but he just didn't want to accept it. He longed for the feeling of a child hugging back, not just him doing the action. Ravi seemed to notice the sudden change and he placed his hand on his shoulder. "Hyung, are you alright?" Ravi asked in concern, making N stare at him. It took a while for N to respond but what frightened Ravi the most was the emotionless and lingering loook N had on his face. "i'm... fine Ravi... just thinking.." he muttered, staring at Michiru who was chasing after a butterfly. "Come on hyung... tell me it's okay... if you feel like you want someone to talk to just know I'll be there" Ravi offered with a reassuring smile, making N's tensed form relax. "Don't you ever just want to actually talk with her..? " N said softly, looking at the child who was now running around with her brothers. 

Ravi frowned slightly, the words hitting him slowly. "I've... never thought about that.." Ravi muttered as he looked down. "No one ever has..." N replied before hopping down to join the others. Ravi sat there for a while, pondering the idea that N had just engraved on his mind. Ravi sighed, the worried feeling in his gut. He joined the others (by flying down) in watching the little girl play around, not forgetting to notice the same look on N's face. \

*~*

N and Hyuk had managed to sneak in to the school that Michiru attended when she was 12. They were still invisible however as they trailed behind her. "wah... this is nothing like our schools.." Hyuk said in admiration. N hummed in agreement, smiling at the crowd of children swarming to get to their next classes. "Do you see Michiru around..?" N asked, wanting to see the girl with brown wavy hair. "Calm down hyung she's probably still in her class" Hyuk said with a sigh. N nodded and began walking around, watching the children happily laugh and talk to their freinds. His heart felt warm all over, the smiles on the children's faces bringing peace to him. "Hyung!" Hyuk called out, seeing N reaching to pat a student who was calmly eating his snack. "Hyung we need to go find Michiru" Hyuk whined making n snicker. "Calm down she's probably still in her class" N mocked with a smirk, making Hyuk roll his eyes. "Seriously though where could the girl be?" Hyuk muttered. "Wait..... isn't she in building 2NE1?" N asked. "Stupid we're in building B1A4..." Hyuk groaned while N shook his head. "alright then let's go" He said before walking out. 

While they walked out of the (huge) building Hyuk couldn't help but think of N's straneg behaviour. He'd never seen N act so fondly around anybody before. He was playful, caring, and kind but N would never be so ... so intrigued by anything else before. Hyuk pouted at the thought of N paying attention to someone else besides them and Michiru. Hyuk looked at N who had a serious look on his face as he walked besides him. "Hyung.. are you... okay..?" Hyuk asked, making N freeze. Hyuk was starting to worry as an emotionless look fell on his face. His eyes seemed... lifeless. "Hyung.." Hyuk began as he reached out to him. N immediately jerked away, a look of shock on his face. "I-Im fine Hyuk... just a bit... distracted.." N muttered. Hyuk stood there confusedc as N hurriedly walked away, wanting to get out of there to avoid Hyuk asking anymore questions. Hyuk could only sigh and follow his leader, making a mental note to talk to Leo about this. 

*~*

"N!N!N!" 

N turned around as soon as he heard his name, his eyes widening as he saw a crying Tao flying shakily towards him. "Tao!" N cried out, managing to catch him as Tao's wings failed to keep him up. "What's wrong?" N asked, seeing Tao's tears flow down as he sobbed. "K-Kris... he's being exiled..." Tao weeped as  he clutched onto N's shoulders. N's eyes widened as the information seeped in. "Why...?" N muttered making Tao shake his head. "We... we were going on a mission and... a-and when we were coming b-back our child was b-being harmed.... and t-the dad was about to k-kill the k-kid.." Tao whimpered, his body racking with each sob. "K-Kris can't u-use his pow-er so h-h eflew in front-t of the kid and revealed himself...... he  _revealed_  himself hyung!" Tao screamed. N was numb. Kris did something no angel should do. "W-Where is he now..." N managed to spit out. "H-He's in the judge's o-office..." Tao whispered, his clutch on N not losing it's grip. "Hyung...?" N turned around, feeling slightly relieved to see Hongbin standing there with a look of pain. He must've heard the news. "Tao... I'm going to go see Kris now okay..? Why don't you go with Hongbin..?" N coaxed, running his hand through Tao's hair to calm him down. Tao only nodded and walked towards Hongbin who hugged him. 

When N got to the office he expected guards to stand there, but he was shocked to see none. N hesitated before walking inside, a slight shiver going down his back when seeing the eerie gray building. The echo of his footsteps only added more nervousness as he got nearer and nearer. He knocked softly, secretly hoping the judges were to open the door and tell him to go away. As he heard no response he bit his lip, should he go? Or should he enter? N took a shuddering breath and opened the door. "Hello...?" N whispered, his fear taking toll on him. "Kris...?" N said, his voice higher.

_"N..?"_

N let out a sigh of relief as he heard Kris' faint voice call out to him. N's eyebrows furrowed as he realized the voice was coming from the door that the judges forbid the angels from coming in. "Kris!" N yelled, opening the door without hesitation once he heard his friend's faint voice once more. "Kris?!" N called out once more, rushing to the corriders. "N!" Kris yelled, wanting to see his friend. N then opened the door, the sight shocking him. Kris was in a cell, silver handcuffs on his wrists, he had dark eyebags, almost like Tao's, and his skin was paler than the moon. "Kris...?" N muttered, walking closer to him slowly. Kris weakly smiled at him in acknowledgement. "Glad... to see you here...Leader N..." Kris muttered, his head rolled onto the side to get a better view of his friend. N let out a cry as he fell onto his knees, hands clutching onto the bars of the cell door. "Kris! D-Does your group know you're  here? Tao told me... a-about what y-you did... how... how can y-you do s-something s-so stupid?!" N cried out, staring wearily at the silver that was burning Kris' wrists. Kris chuckled lightly, before noticing N's teary eyes. He trailed down to where they were focused on and frowned when it led to his wrists. "Ah, this .... this is okay.. I'm surprisingly not affected by it anymore.." Kris replied, smiling reassuringly at N. 

N sniffled and shook his head, his hand wanting nothing but to take the cuffs off. "Hyung...." N sobbed, placing his forehead on the bars. Kris smiled sadly, tears of his own pooling and flowing down. N shook his head as he took a shaky breath and said, "Why..?! Why did you let them see you?! Just to protect the child? You know the rules are that if the only way to help a kid is to reveal yourself then it was fate for the kid to die that way!". Kris shook his head in protest, a frown in his face that made N want to take his words back. "No... it isn't the kid's fate.... that child... that child is destined for great things.... that child shouldn't have to die that way... no one should.." Kris mumbled, his breaths shortening into heavy puffs of air. "What a-are you even s-saying?! You're n-not b-being rational! You're not being yourself!" N screamed.  
  


_"Did you honestly think that was me....?"_

 

N froze, slowly raising his head to look at Kris. His dead eyes stared into nothing, his whole being incredibly weak. "Tell me N.... do you think... that I seriously accepted the idea... of letting the children die at a young age..? When we could clearly do something to prevent it?" Kris asked, his face contorted into one of fear. The reason? N did not know. N's eyes widened. Was Kris really like that? Or was it all just a mask? "I ... I don't want to be like them... tell me N please.... tell me I wasn't like them.." Kris pleaded, his hiccups turning into sobs. N didn't know what to do. Who was them? What was Kris so afraid of becoming? Kris moved until he was fully facing N, his body racking with each painful sob. "Please! Tell me... please please please....!!" Kris screamed. N sat there on his knees, completely lost. He was afraid of seeing the once stoic and clever man now into a whimpering and crying mess. He struggled to say something until Kris said, "Whatever you do... do not... let them control you... do not let them control you.." Kris said until his repeated it over and over and rocking back and forth. 

"N! Get away from him!" 

N whipped around to see the judges standing there with guards behind them. He shook his head as he shakily stood up and placed himself in front of Kris' cell. "N-No.....!" N managed to say, making the judges frown. Judge Raon motioned the guards to get closer and N growled. "No! You won't take him!" N screamed. "N, he has commited a crime, he must pay for it" Judge Hester said, her voice stern and loud. N trembled as he casted his sight down, the tears falling onto the floor. "Why... why is it so wrong to sacrifice ourselves for the life of a child?" N whimpered. Kris' heavy breathing filled the room as the question took everyone by surprise. "Isn't that our job...? Aren't we supposed to take care of teh child no matter the cost?" N whispered, having the courage to look up at the judges. The three stood there, their faces showing shock, as they looked at the crying angel. "Why.... why?" N said, voice shaking as he fell onto his knees. Judge Lou was the first to recover from the shock as he raised his hand. N's eyes widened, the tears flowing down, his motuh slightly opened as he stared at the guards then to the judges in disbelief. They were still going to get rid of Kris? He was gently pulled up from the floor, his eyes never leaving the judges, as the guards opened the cell and began taking Kris away. It was until Kris came into his eyesight that he recovered from the shock. 

At first it began with soft 'no's and it reached to full on screams as N ran towards Kris, his hands grabbing onto the silver handcuffs making everyone jump in surprise. N ignored the burn in his flesh as he tried pulling them off of Kris. Kris watched him with wide eyes, the tears pooling around the brim. N looked up at him with a pained expression that can make even the most soulless creature clutch his chest in pain. Then, a guard pulled N away which made him squirm around the guard's hold and protests spilling from his mouth as he tried to desperately reach out to Kris. Kris let himself be pulled away despite his desire to hug the angel and bury his face in the crook of his neck. Kris' heart felt pain as the cries kept getting louder and louder, the image of N's pained expression kept flashing in his mind. When he was shoved outside the sight that welcomed him was shocking. Angels stood there in surprise as one of the most respected and powerful leaders was shoved to kneel in front of them. They took in the appearance of the paled, sick, hurt, and weak angel kneeling before them. He looked up at them and he could tell from their gazes that they could feel the pain that N was going through because of  _him._  He turned away in shame when he met the eyes of N's and his own team. He couldn't face them right now... even if it was his last time. He heard N stumble outside, in the arms of the guard who was preventing him from going to hug the soon to be fallen angel. 

N didn't know what to do. The only one in his mind was  _Kris._ He needed to get to him, he needed to make sure he'd be safe. He stared desperately at Kris, who's back was turned to him, and he wished he could say something but his throat was tight and it hurt due to the screams. Then, Kris was blocked from his view when Leo stood in front of him. N looked up at Leo and was met with sad eyes. "Come on N, let's go.." Leo whispered, picking up the limp leader in his arms and leading him away from the crowd. "L-Leo.... Kris is... Kris didn't do... anything... wrong.." N mumbled, his eyes dull and emotionless as he gripped onto Leo's shirt. Leo's shoulders trembled, biting his lip, and nodded. "Okay N, he did nothing wrong... it'll be okay.. he's fine now" Leo whispered, meeting the eyes of Ken who stood in front of them. Ken lifted his hand to reveal the syringe in his grip. Leo adjusted N, to make it easier for Ken. N didn't even wince when the sharp edge of the needled punctured through his neck, he just simply let out a shaky sigh and closed his eyes. 

Leo slowly raised the sleeve from N's wrist only to see the swirls of crimson sprouting prettily. Leo covered his wrist and turned to look at the crowd who was still surounding Kris. "Take N away from here..... he won't be let into the court.." Leo ordered, Ravi taking N from his arms. The group nodded and spread out their wings before flying off into their designated place. 

*~*

As Leo said, N was not permitted to attend the court judging on Kris. N didn't put much fight however, he just laid in his bed all day and occasionally sniffs were heard coming from him. The group attended however, leaving N in with one of the guards. By the time they came back, N was in the same position when they left. "Get up hyung.." Hongbin whispered, lifting N's head to rest on his lap. "What happened to him...?" N whispered, making the group go stiff. "He.... He was banished wasn't he..?" N said, his breath hitching. "He's fallen..." Leo replied, making N freeze and causing Hyuk to scowl at Leo. "What..? He was bound to know anyway" Leo snapped before storming into his own room. The group stayed quiet, waiting to see any reaction from their leader. N however, let go of the breath he had been holding in and turned away from the others. "Please... go away.." N whimpered. Hyuk grabbed his hand and pleaded, "Come on hyung... don't do this..." Ravi grabbed his shoulder and Hyuk turned to face him but seeing Ravi shake his head made him sigh. "We'll be outside if you need anything.." Ken muttered before walking out, the others following quietly. 

That night, Leo walked into his room and checked N's wrist. The crimson swirls were there once more. 

*~*

It hadn't taken long before N recovered but something in him had changed. Everyone noticed it. The once bubbly, cheery, and hyper leader was now quiet with a stoic expression. It honestly scared everyone. It had been a month since Kris' judgement but N and Kris' group were basically walking emotionless. The group, EXO, were slowly returning back to normal, except Tao, but it was enough for them to resume their duties. N was a different story however. Yes, he went back to protecting his child with the group but he just never expressed emotion. Many tried coaxing him back to his normal self but N just simply shut the others away. The only person who could make N have a conversation with was Tao, and that hurt both group's pride. It was logical however, The two were the ones who were suffering the most. 

It wasn't until N's group was assigned to a different child, Michiru had grown into an adult already, that N began smiling again. The new kid, Lee Minhyuk, was a cute little kid and he was born into a happy and caring family. N enjoyed watching the boy play with his cousin Sungjae and the group took note of it. Leo watched through shocked eyes as N grinned. All breath seemed to escape from their hugs as N softly petted the boy's hair. N cooed at the sight, which brought more happiness to his friend and made Ken approached his hyung and hug him. N jumped in surprise at the sudden action and pulled away to look at Ken who smiled happily. "You smiled hyung.. you finally smiled...." Ken whispered. N only nodded in return and turned to look at Minhyuk who was currently playing with the toys in his room. Ken frowned at the action but forgot all about it when N began smiling. The others approached hesitantly, as they did not want to interrupt their leader, and settled around their leader and the child. N seemed too distracted with Minhyuk to even notice. 

They spent their day as normal after that and they were upset to see N go back to his shell. When they arrived back at heaven, Ken couldn't help but notice his hyung twitching when the judges came into their dorm. "Good evening boys... we see you've been doing well.." Judge Raon said, looking at all of them with a satisfied look that made them flush in pride, except N. "We are exceptionally proud of you for also keeping up with the schedules despite the recent events... hopefully you won't end up like...  _them_ " Judge Lou said, his tone hinted with disgust when he said 'them.' The team stood in confusion.... what were they talking about? "Who are ... them?" Hyuk asked, his head tilting to the side. "Why... the fallen angels of course..." Judge Hester said with a scowl, not seeing N's wince. "Kris..?" Ken mumbled and Ravi jabbed his side while pointing his head to N's direction which made Ken clasp his mouth shut with his hand. "Yes... and unfortunantely two more angels from his old group... you guys wouldn't know since you've been down in Earth... but we just felt we should come and deliver you the news.." Judge Lou said, his eyes flicking to N who remained quiet with his jaw clenched. "Luhan and Tao were foolish enough to follow in their disgraced leader's steps and now they've fallen too..." Judge Hester said with a disappointed sigh at the end. Silence roamed the room as the boys stiffened and turned to look at their leader who's eyes widened and a look of pain was displayed in his features.

"Well, they chose to do that so now they suffer a consequence.. this hasn't happened in a while, so let this be an example to you all.. an example and warning of what happens when you go against the rules of the judges..." Judge Raon said, his voice gruff and set in a tone that sent shivers through their spines. Judge Raon turned to look at N who looked at him with an unreadable expression and he _smiled_. "Do not worry N... I know _you_  won't do the same.." N's eyebrows  furrowed in confusion before turning away from them. "We'll be leaving then... I apologize for the sudden visit..." Judge Hester said and left with the other two following. As soon as they shut the door, N turned to his team and said, "You are not to speak of this never again... Kris, Luhan, and Tao are not to mentioned .. or at least not in my presence...." The others watched as he stormed into his room and flinched when they heard the door slam shut.

*~*

N hadn't changed... or at least he hadn't changed when he was with them. With Minhyuk, that is another story. N adored the boy. He couldn't help but be all over him. He used his power, who had now went from the color purple to a dark crimson, to prevent the boy from being hurt. The team watched in horror as their once childish leader had now converted into an unreadable angel. The only emotion he showed being with a child. He had been distant from the others and it hurt them. Leo had almost hated his leader until he understood that N wasn't abandoning them, he still loved them, he just.... couldn't be who he wanted to be in their heaven. After the departure of the three angels, the heavens were filled with tension and carefulness. Nobody dared to walk into the once beautiful and radiant gardens when it struck night. Noone dared to extend their time with the children - except N's team- and nobody dared to go against the judge's new laws. The heavens that was once a free and happy place was now a grey area that depended on the judges. 

Needless to say, N changed and he was showing no signs of coming back. So they moved on, centuries passing and each time the heavens turning worse and worse. By now, the heavens felt like the angels were puppets and the judges were the puppeteers. The team stayed united however, they wouldn't let the obstacles get in their way. The members still loved their leader and the leader still loved them. Although he wouldn't express it in words, they could see it in his eyes and actions. N would often tell them to never let the others control them, to do what they think is right. They never listened however, as they opted to stay in the rules where it was  _safe._  
  


Even though, in a world full of control and blind tyranny they never lost admiration for the children. That was the one thing that kept them sane, and they weren't letting it go. 

The year was 1968 and they were assigned to a new child. "Take care of this one... he's a child made from one of the daughter's of the Goddess Aphrodite..." Jin said, a motherly tone evident in his voice. Made sense, as he and N were both created by a daughter of the same Goddess. "Is it... mom..?" N asked, his voice soft. The word never left his mind.  _Mother._ A word the humans used to address the woman who gave birth to them. N didn't want to call his creator that so he opted with the word 'mom' or 'mother.' Jin smiled and nodded, "It's her...." Jin replied and handed the file to N with gentle hands. N opened the file, showing the photo of the baby his team and him were to take care of. His breath hitched as he stared at the photo of a small and chubby baby who smiled in the arms of the mother. 

  
"Wow, he's so cute...." Ken said with a giggle. "Look at his cheeks" Leo cooed and smiled at the idea that this child's soul was theirs to protect. "Wah... this kid is ours!" Ravi said in adoration as he managed to take a glimpse of the baby. Hongbin and Hyuk were smiling and chatting about the new baby when N looked up at Jin, a look that Jin couldn't quite pinpoint on his face. Jin frowned in worry and said, "Don't worry N, you won't disappoint us...." N felt his heart break slightly, the reason? He did not know. N looked down at the file and smiled, the joy swelling in his heart as he whispered, "We'll take care of you.... you'll be loved.. you'll be protected.... I'll make sure of it.... 

_Cha Hakyeon"_

*~* 

**OOOOooooOOOooooOOO**

**N knows about Hakyeon now! I'm feeling fine now and honestly the first thing i did was go straight back to writing lol. Anyway, opinions on the judges? Opinions on the impact Kris left on N? Please comment about what you found interesting and if you got the references and the clues!! I'll be (hopefully) quick to update the third part. Adios guys~~~**


	10. How It All Came To Be pt.3

N watched in anger as Hakyeon was shoved down, causing the little boy to let out a cry. He hated these moments, he itched to use his powers on the father but he  had been on power resistance for the last month since he used it in a time where he could;ve been spotted. "Come on... come on..." N growled under his breath, waiting impatiently for the rest of the members to come. When he felt Hyuk touch his shoulder he immediately turned around and ordered Ravi to distract the father and let Hyuk numb the pain. When they were done, N carried the little boy from the ground to his pathetic excuse of a bed, which was just a mattress. He set him down and worriedly took the napkin from Ken and began dabbing it onto Hakyeon's sweaty forehead. "Hyung... the kid's fine we need to get back to-" Hyuk said only to be interrupted by the glare of the leader. "I don't care, I'm not leaving him"  N scowled and turned back to taking care of the sick boy. "N! For pete's sake are you hearing yourself right now?! This is not how we are supposed to act around the children this way and you know it! Do you want to end up like-" Leo went quiet when he realized what he was saying.

 

The members turned to look at N who froze. Hongbin shot a glare at Leo and crouched besides N. "Hyung... Leo hyung doesn't know what he's talking about.... come on.... let's go yeah?" He said, hoping to convince his leader and bring him back to the heavens. N took a deep breath and stood up to turn to look at the others. "okay.. fine... let's go then.." N said, his tone soft. When he vanished, Hongbin turned and glared at the second eldest. "Really Leo?! You just had to bring up Kris?! You know how sensitive he is to that!" Hongbin said and Leo scoffed. "So what? He's already not talking because of that so what's so wrong in talking about it?" Leo said with his arms crossed. The members stared at him in disapproval with Ravi saying, "Hyung, even if it's something from the past, Kris was still an important angel for him... he was there before any of us... and he took care of him before us...so you should go and apologize!" Leo only scoffed and vanished, leaving the members alone with the boy. "Who would've known a kid could bring us into arguments.." Hyuk sneered and left.

 

The remaining members sighed and followed the others, secretly agreeing with the youngest member.

 

*~*

"N, please report to the judge's office"

 

Everyone's gaze fell on the said man, who was currently tensed up. "Tell them I'm busy... that I have to file the reports.." N muttered. "Hyung they say it's urgent.." Seungkwan urged as he stepped closer to the leader. N took a deep breath and slammed down the reports. "Jeonghan-ah... please finish this for me, I might not be able to and they need to be filled in by today.." N ordered and followed Seungkwan. "What is that they need to talk to me about?" N asked, surprising Seungkwan. N furrowed his eyebrows while Seungkwan covered his mouth with his hand. "What's wrong with you?" N asked, making Seungkwan let out a noise. "This if the first time you talk to me...." Seungkwan said through misty eyes. "I just talked to you though....?" N mumbled, clearly perplexed. "No, I meant alone... like you've spoken to me with others around but it's been a long time since we both spoke alone" Seungkwan said with a smile, making N's heart break. Was he really missed? "Oh um, I'm sorry?" N said, unsure of what to say really. Seungkwan nodded and saluted. "It's okay sir!" Seungkwan said and smiled. N ruffled his hair and chuckled, "No but really, what do they need me for?" "Oh um, I'm not really sure, but all they told me was that they needed to speak to you urgently..." Seungkwan said. N held back from rolling his eyes and settled with nodding his head. "Well then, guess it's just another event they want me to organize.." N muttered and Seungkwan hummed in agreement.

  
  


By the time they arrived, N was quickly escorted towards the office which made him upset seeing that the guards had particularly shoved Seungkwan away. "N, you finally came.." Judge Lou said, placing the stack of papers down with a smile. N nodded and sat in front of them, waiting for them to say anything they needed him to do. "Now N, we've called you in here because... we're worried.." Judge Raon said, his deep voice filled with nothing but fake concern. "Why should you be worried of me my lords?" N said, wanting to get off the hook quickly. "We... are concerned about the kid you're protecting... something about you being too close to him.." Judge Hester said, not even bothering to look up from her book. "Excuse me.. my lord?" N asked, a hint of anger in it. "You've been spending too much time with the kid... come on N, don't think we don't know about your pathetic excuses just to say with the mortal" Judge Hester snarled, slamming her book down and standing up to look at N with clear disgust in her eyes. "Can you explain please... Leader N?" Judge Raon said, walking closer to the angel, who was still staring at Judge Hester. "He's is to be under my care, and if  you don't know... the kid is abused by his own parents.... and I feel like it's my job to be there for him..."  N said and looked up at the judge. "Or is that wrong too?" he asked, tilting his head to the side as if to mock the authority of the angel in front of him.

  
  


"N, when we call you it is for you to report immediately and you are not doing the job.. your team has been arriving without any leader and they claim you had to stay behind... do you know how many meetings you've missed? Because you 'had to stay behind'?" Judge Hester said, joining Judge Raon to tower over the angel. "We think N, that you need a small warning" Judge Lou said. N said nothing as he stared at the floor. What could he do? What could he say? "I understand... I'll be heading out now..." N muttered and turned to walk out but he stumbled when feeling a rough hand land on his shoulder. He turned his head in shock when seeing Judge Raon's eyes light up white, and it was then that he started to panic. "W-What..? J-Judge Raon-AH!" N shrieked when feeling pain shoot through his whole body.

 

"NO! NO! PLEASE!" N pleaded while struggling against the firm grip on his arms by the other judges. It wasn't until he was dropped on the ground that he saw the judge holding a bright purple ball. His eyes widened in pain as he knew that they had taken his power away. The power that gave him pride. The power that helped prevent Hakyeon from being bruised. It had been taken away from him. N shakily stood up in pain while staring at the purple light. "This could've been prevented Leader N, but you were foolish enough to make this decision.... so you must suffer the consequences" Judge Lou said and enclosed the ball with his hands, making it disappear. N's ragged breaths was the only noise heard in the room. N fell limp against the wall in a kneeling position.

 

“W-why d-did you-”

 

“It’s your warning Leader N, you disobey us… this happens” Judge Hester said before waving her hand. N felt himself be picked up but he showed little resistance. It wasn’t until he was outside that he began to sob. His fists were clenched as he brought both hands and knees against his chest. He rocked back and forth as sobs ripped through his throat, his tears falling onto the cement. Seungkwan immediately ran out when feeling the clench in his chest, his heart breaking when seeing N on the floor. “Hyung….” Seungkwan whispered as he knelt down and gathered the screaming angel into his arms.

 

Not long after, his members came flying in when feeling the tug in their heart, even Leo. The member’s eyes widened as they saw Seungkwan hugging their leader who’s breathing kept hitching every now and then. Ravi knelt down and took N from Seungkwan’s arms with a soft, “Thanks”. When they arrived home, Ravi grabbed N’s wrist and pulled the sleeve up. “Hyung.. It’s there again..” Ravi muttered, staring at the swirling orbs of crimson making  Leo sigh harshly as he covered the wrist with the sleeve.

 

“Why does it keep appearing hyung? Does it have anything to do with…. His creator?” Hongbin asked Leo, who in return shrugged. “I don’t know… but we have to help him,.... No matter what” Leo said, staring down at the sleeping angel in Ravi’s arms.

 

*~*

 

N bit his lips as he watched the sleeping boy. “Just wait a bit more Yeonnie, just wait a bit more…” N whispered softly. “Hyung? The dad’s sleeping…” Hyuk said, startling N. “What are you doing here Hyukkie?” N asked, not noticing the slight shiver in his voice. Hyuk furrowed his eyebrows and replied, “we just… didn’t want to leave you alone…” N nodded and smiled at him. “Thanks hyuk…. Let’s go outside okay?” He offered, waiting for the maknae’s approval. “Alright spill it out Hyuk” N said with a sigh. “I’m sorry hyung… I was worried about you…” Hyuk mumbled. “Why? I’m the leader, I can take care of myself” N replied, slightly upset that they were worrying over him. “I just didn’t want you doing anything stupid okay? Ever since, you know… that happened I’ve been weary about you…” Hyuk said, scared that N would get angry.

 

When he heard nothing, he looked up at his hyung. He was surprised to see the dull expression on N’s face. “Hyung…?” Hyuk said, raising his hand to shake his shoulder. N snapped out of his trance and smiled. “Thanks Hyukkie… I promise I’ll do good okay? Now come on… let’s go back to the dorm okay?” N said, not waiting for his answer before standing up and spreading his wings.

 

*~*

 

N was scared.

 

N was trembling.

 

N was regretting his choices.

 

He mentally cursed himself as he watched the boy running from the store owner, who was screaming curses at him for taking bread. N spread his wings and followed Hakyeon, his eyebrows furrowing as he saw the boy climbing up the tree. He folded his wings and perched himself in the branch besides Hakyeon’s. He was conflicted. Should I show myself? What would happen if I get caught? No, I’m alone… nothing will happen.

 

N took a deep breath and just as he was about to reveal himself, he caught sight of the swirling orbs of crimson floating around him. He frowned when seeing them and touched his eyes. “I’m not crying…” N mumbled, confused as to why they appeared. He shook the orbs away, relieved to see them disappear. Okay N.. time to do it.

 

"You're stealing food again..."

 

"What?! W-Who is that?! W-Who are you?! " Hakyeon screamed, turning around only to see a man in the tree branch  near him. "W-what..? H-how did you.." Hakyeon stuttered, looking at the smiling man. "Hello.... Hakyeon-ah..my name is N... I'm your new friend.."

 

*~*

  
  


N hadn’t regretted it one bit. In fact, he seemed to be more joyous than before. He smiled more, talked more, and even laughed more. His members noticed the change, and they were glad. However, they couldn’t help but get suspicious. What made N change? What happened to him? They didn’t question it however, as they were simply too happy to see their leader back to normal.

 

They also seemed to notice that N was spending more time in the human world. “Hyung, what do you think N hyung is doing in Earth?” Ken asked Leo. Leo remained quiet while reading his book. “I don’t know Ken, he’s probably taking care of Hakyeon…” Leo replied. “But hyung, it’s kind of weird that he keeps insisting that he goes out on his own… we’re supposed to be a team” Hongbin whined. Leo placed the book down, contemplating on what Hongbin had just said. “He does go alone more often doesn’t he..?” Leo muttered.

 

“You don’t think… he revealed himself right?” Ravi mentioned, making the others turn to him. “Nonsense… N-hyung wouldn’t… do …. That…” Hyuk said, yet the shaky tone ruined his confidence. Leo slammed his hand on the book and looked at Ravi with a glare. “Don’t say something stupid…. N would never do that..” Leo sneered, angry at how Ravi can just assume something too sinful.

 

“Think about it hyung…. Ever since Kris-hyung became a fallen angel, he began to doubt the higher ups, the judges, the Gods and Goddesses, everything “ Ravi explained. Leo frowned, he did not want to accept the possibility. “No, N isn’t… he wouldn’t do that..” Leo said as he stood up and walked away.

 

The others frowned at Ravi who in return shrugged. “Why did you say that Ravi? N wouldn't do anything like that…” Ken scolded, making Ravi sigh. “Hyung…. why else do you think N is suddenly in a good mood and spending more time in earth?? Don't you think it's suspicious??” Ravi said. Ken shook his head and stormed into his room, muttering curses.

 

*~*

 

N laughed as he watched the 9 year old hop from the stairs. “N-hyung!! N-hyung you came!” Hakyeon cheered as he ran into the waiting arms of the angel. N smiled and enveloped the boy while tickling his sides. “Yes I did you little troublemaker…” N said and set the boy down. “You haven’t gotten in trouble now right?” Hakyeon asked worriedly. N shook his head and ruffled the boy’s hair. “Remember, if you don’t say anything while I’m not here.. We’re protected and besides I have a tracker… if another angel comes then the tracker beeps and I disappear and you shut your mouth” N said and patted the boy’s lips. Hakyeon scowled as he swatted the hand away and wiped his mouth. “Hm, yeah yeah I know…” Hakyeon pouted and N swore that if Hakyeon was a puppy his ears would be drooping.

 

“Alright kid get up we’re going to eat..” N said and raised the boy to rest on his shoulders. “What are we going to eat hyung?” Hakyeon asked excitedly. “Hm, how about ramen?” N offered and chuckled when Hakyeon cheered. “Hyung do you have money though?!” Hakyeon asked, his smile widening when N showed him the cash. “Where’d you get the money hyung? Mama only gets a dollar every hour… papa doesn’t give us money..” Hakyeon said while N’s frown deepened. “Well, us angels have powers and we can get money with those powers..” N explained, making Hakyeon nod. “That explains it I guess…” Hakyeon muttered before yelling, “HYUNG!! THE RAMEN SHOP!!”

 

*~*

 

By the time N arrived to heaven, he was greeted by the sour faces from his teammates. “What happened guys?” N asked, wondering why Leo was currently glaring at Ravi. “Ask him” Leo snarled before standing up and storming into the living room. “What’s going on…?” N asked Ravi who stared at him with an unreadable look. “Be honest with me hyung…. Are you…. I mean.. Did you reveal yourself?” Ravi asked, his tone quivering. N’s eyes widened and immediately shook his head. “No Ravi-ah… I’m not .. promise..” N said, trying to hide the worry in his tone. “Told you Ravi..” Hyuk sneered as he smacked the warrior angel in the head. Ravi growled and shoved the laughing angel.

 

“Good hyung… I don’t want you to leave us..” Ravi said and hugged the leader. N stiffed up in his arms before relaxing, the guilt gnawing at his throat. “I promise Ravi-ah.. I promise…” N whispered, ignoring the slight quiver in his voice.

 

*~*

 

N wasn’t shocked when he was called into the judge’s office. He grumpily walked in with his head down, not wanting to look at the serpent’s eyes. “Leader N, so glad you agreed to meet us” Judge Hester said, her tone sickeningly sweet. N only nodded his head in confirmation. “Alright.. Well, we’ve seen a sort of… unusual event happening in your team... N” Judge Raon’s gruff voice spoke up. “Your members are not going with you on the missions.. In fact, you’re going alone.. Any reason why?” Judge Lou said, his eye mask seeming surprisingly intimidating. N shook his head and kept his eyes to the floor, too nervous to say anything.

 

“Are you sure..? Shame, we might bring in your team-”

 

“NO!”

 

The judges seemed startled at the sudden outburst. They turned around to look at the kneeling leader. “Please, don’t bring them into this… they aren’t they have nothing to do with this..” N said, his head dropping. “Fine, we’ll leave them out… but we expect an answer N” Judge Hester demanded, not even caring about the shameful position the leader was in. “I just.. I just feel like I’m bothering them.. I don’t want them to get burdened by me…. I want them to rest” N whispered.

 

It wasn’t entirely a lie. N really did feel like a burden, so he decided to use that as his excuse. “Well, we all have those moments don’t we? But N, you don’t understand… for every angel who does not do their jobs, well we don’t get higher ranks… and by you doing this…. Well its a problem” Judge Lou said and sat back down in his chair. “Now go, you’re othering us here and we need to finish these records” Judge Raon ordered. N furrowed his eyebrows in anger before standing up and walking to the door. “You know, you were much more better leaders when you actually cared for us..” N said, not even bothering to close the door softly.

 

*~*

 

N had to tell Hakyeon that he’d be away for a while, to be patient and to wait for him. Hakyeon had cried and hugged him tightly and it took all of N’s will to not cry so that he wouldn’t be caught, but he couldn’t help but let some tears fall. “Don’t worry Hakyeon-ah.. We’ll see each other again… I promise….but for now, please never talk about me…. You never know when someone could be here okay? Pretend we don’t know each other…okay?” N pleaded, making Hakyeon sob harder.

 

“Don’t cry Yeonnie… sh it’s okay… I’ll be here with you okay? I’ll still see you… just not as often..” N said and ruffled the kid’s hair. Hakyeon sniffed and waved goodbye while N smiled sadly. “See you later okay bud?” N said and Hakyeon smiled. Content with the grin, N finally left.

 

But he didn’t feel like going straight to heaven. Instead he hid himself from human sight and let his wings be dragged on the floor. He walked by the streets, looking at the families walking in and out of the many shops and apartments. The snow was falling down and then he remembered,

 

It’s winter…

 

He smiled and was about to continue walking when he heard someone call out to him. He turned around, his whole body tensing and his heart breaking. He felt tears pool in his eyes while seeing the smiling fallen angel. “K-Kris…” N whimpered, making Kris chuckle and open his arms. N didn’t waste time as he ran into them, his head falling into the crook of his neck. Kris smiled as he enveloped the sobbing angel. “I’ve missed you N” Kris whispered, chuckling at N’s whine. “Did you miss me too?” Kris asked, making N pull away and weakly hit his chest. “Of c-course I d-did idiot!” N said while sniffing and whining when Kris laughed.

 

“You’re still so childish…” Kris said and held N’s cheek, which N glady leaned onto. “Hold on… you gotta see this” Kris said and then whistled. Next thing N knew, Tao and Luhan stood there with wide smiles. “N hyung!” Tao cheered while Luhan ran into his arms. “We’ve missed you!!” Luhan said, making N cry harder. The three frowned sadly at him, knowing the reason why.

 

  
“Hey N… come one… let’s go somewhere else okay?” Kris offered, making N nod. “Wait.. aren’t they going to know that I’m crying?” N asked, wiping his tears away. Tao shook his head and replied, “No, you’re with fallen angels… angels confuse other angels with fallen angels when they’re around them… so in this case they might think you’re a fallen angel and they won’t feel anything you feel”. N nodded and accepted Luhan’s hand and let himself be dragged away.

 

*~*

 

“So what’s been going on while we’ve been gone?” Luhan asked and N shrugged. “The judges are…. They’re sort of controlling everything now.. And the heavens aren’t as bright as they were before… everything is dull now basically…” N explained, his eyes holding no emotion. Kris sighed and shook his head. “I knew it… those bastards just took us away so they could get their way” Kris muttered, making N look at him in confusion.

 

“I didn’t tell you this before… but the reason why I was mainly taken out was because I was the messenger between the judges and the Gods and Goddesses, and I had found out about the judges plan to get higher ranks so they could be more powerful… and when they knew about the information I had, they tried searching for anything that they could use against me… and well when I revealed myself they got the perfect opportunity….but before I left I passed the information to Luhan and Tao…. and well, they got caught too.. So that’s how we got banished….” Kris said,

N’s eyes widening at the new information he had gotten. “Listen N, you need to stay in there and do whatever you can to limit the judges… you have to try and outsmart them” Luhan pleaded, but he was shocked to see N flinch. “N hyung…? Did you..” Tao trailed off, not wanting to hear the answer. “It’s too late… I… I already revealed myself..”   
  


 

*~*

 

N had surprisingly managed to hide his secret for the next 6 years, of course with a few close encounters. It wasn’t until one night, N forgot to take his tracker. He had flew into Hakyeon’s house after receiving a sobbing prayer from the boy. He found himself hugging the boy, muttering soft assurances as he tried taking care of the boy’s wounds.

 

What he didn’t notice was the hiding angel in the shadows.

 

Hongbin watched with widened eyes in his hidden form. He couldn’t believe it. N had revealed himself. Hongbin faltered in his steps as he tried to digest what N had just done. Hongbin shook his head and looked up at the boy N was hugging, and he suddenly felt anger surge through him. He clenched his jaw and fists and transported back to heaven.

 

*~*

 

When N came back home, he had expected to see the members asleep but what he did not expect was them in the living room with sunken faces. “What happened guys?” N asked. Leo looked at him with a glare of disbelief. “Is it true?” Leo asked, making N falter in his steps. “Is what true?” N asked, voice shaky. “Did you.. Did you reveal yourself?” Leo asked, making N’s breath hitch.

 

He looked down at the floor, his fists clenched. “I-”

 

*~*

 

Please comment :P


	11. How It All Came To Be pt.4

"I-I... I don't know what you're talking about..." 

N stuttered as he walked right past them and tried entering his room, but when Leo appeared in front of him he stumbled back. "Leo, move.." N spoke in his leader tone, a tone rarely used. "No N... tell us right now, stop keeping secrets from us... tell us the truth" Leo said through gritted teeth. N clenched his fists as he shoved past him but he was pulled back by a force. He was spiraled onto the floor in the middle of the living room,  _curse Hyuk and his power._  "N-hyung.." Hyuk mumbled, his voice shaky. N avoided eye contact, he was too ashamed to look at them. "I.... I didn't mean to..." N whimpered, his voice trembling with absolute  _fear_. Eerie silence fell in the room as the each of the boys processed what their leader had just said. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I-I didn't m-mean to-to h-he was j-just so.. so small and f-fragile and w-weak I c-couldn't just l-let him b-be all al-alone.." N hiccuped through his sobs, pressing his knees against his chest, not noticing the crimson orbs swirling around him. Leo stared at him with betrayed pain in his eyes. Ken held a look of disbelief with Hongbin. Ravi had anger running through his veins, and Hyuk was just  _scared_. 

Leo let out a yell, throwing the nearest thing which happened to be a picture frame, and flew out of the dorm. The other members slowly left one by one, leaving N alone as he sobbed onto the ground. 

*~* 

N waited anxiously, darting his eyes to the door. He had went to tell Hakyeon that they had found out and here he was now, two weeks after their argument and he never once saw them enter. N hadn't gotten an hour of sleep ever since they left, adn it was showing. The dark eyebags and the pale look on his face had the other angels worrying over him, but they never dared to ask. N sighed as he admitted the fact that they just weren't coming back. At least not for now. He got up and walked towards his room, not even knowing why he was going in it if he wasn't going to sleep anyway. He placed his hand on the knob before hearing the door slam open. He immediately ran towards the living room, his eyes widening when seeing Leo, Ravi, and Hongbin standing there with tired looks. He froze, not knowing what to do. "What are you doing there? Seungkwan told me you weren't sleeping... come on let's get you to bed" Ravi said and walked towards him, but stopped when seeing N flinch. "Hyung..?" Ravi mumbled, going to hug him but N kept inching away. "W-Why aren't you y-yelling at me? A-Aren't you mad...? Aren't you... disappointed?" N whimpered, his voice cracking. The three angels heart's broke when hearing the vulnerable tone their leader was using. Hongbin quickly walked towards N and embraced the sniffling leader. "Hyung... no.. we aren't... yes, we were angry and scared but now... we're okay... and we're going to help you.." Hongbin cooed, running his fingers through N's hair. N sniffled and leaned against Hongbin, whispering a soft, "thank you". Leo walked towards them and patted N's back. "We were just taking precautions you know... trying to find out if someone might've noticed....you and your kid... Ken and Hyuk will be here soon don't worry.." Leo explained. N felt a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders as he sighed, his neck being buried on the crook of Hongbin's neck. "Thank you..." N whispered, making the angels around smile. 

*~*

N entered the file to Jin, who recieved it with a warm smile. "How was he?" Jin asked, placing Hakyeon's file into the adult section. "He's a fine boy, he managed to overcome his past" N replied, a fond look in his eyes present and going unnoticed to jin. Jin felt a stab in his heart, but he ignored it. "Well, here's your new kid..." Jin said and gave him another file. "A girl.." N muttered, smiling at the cute photo of the baby girl wrapped in a pink fluffy blanket. "ime to move on I guess.."Jin said and N frowned. "I... okay.." N whispered, and it was then that Jin knew something was  _wrong_. "Um, listen... if there's anything I could do to help or.. if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you okay?" Jin said and hugged the leader, taking him by surprise. "Yeah, I know..." N said and hugged back. Jin's feeling of dread never went away after that, but he had a feeling it would go away very very soon. 

*~*

It all went wrong one night, the angels were up in heaven while waiting for their leader to arrive. Hyuk was walking around in the garden, not being bothered by the fact that he was the only one there. That is until Seungkwan came running in and calling out to him. "Hyung! Hyung!! It's Leader N! He's down in earth and he's crying and he's creating a storm and nobody knows what to do, he-he can't be found.... he's missing and the j-judges are furious and it's hectic down there.. what do we do?!! hyung?!" Seungkwan yelled, grabbing Hyuk's wrist with a look of desperation. "wait here... we'll find him" Hyuk said, the only thing running in his mind was his beloved leader. What had happened? Why was N acting that way? Did something happen to Hakyeon? or their new kid? Hyuk quickly sent a mind link to the others, wanting to know if they had heard the news. 

_hyungs! do you know where N hyung is?! He's crying again and he's causing a scene but no one knows where he is!_

_Hyuk?! what happened?! Why is he acting like this?!_  
  
I don't know Ravi hyung, all Seungkwan told me was that the angels are searching for him

_Dammit what if they find out he revealed himself?!_

_Shut up Hongbin!That won't happen, not on my watch_

_Leo hyung we need to hurry and find him before anyone else does_

_I know Ken I'm already here where Hakyeon lives_

_He isn't there hyung I checked-_

Then, an ear piercing scream shot through the air, making Hyuk falter in his flight and causing him to stumble onto the floor and fall on his hands and knees, his eyes widening. He felt a burning sensation in his hand, and when he looked down to see what it was, his eyes widened when seeing the familiar crimson mark on his hand. "Hyung..." Hyuk whispered, the tears pooling in his eyes. He slumped onto the floor when pain striked through his chest. He let out a scream as he clutched his chest, the pain becoming too unbearable. He felt hands grabbing onto his arms and he trembled as the pain increased and spread through his body. Blurred figures was all he saw, but when his vision cleared, a feeling of dread crawled into him when seeing the angel guards holding onto a crying and screaming N with silver handcuffs on his wrists. His voice hoarse and tired as he managed to croak out, "No... no please... no don't take... him away..." He struggled against the grip on his arms, but the pain drained too much energy from him and soon, he fell into the darkness. 

*~*

"Were you aware of your leader.. doing such a crime and then lying to everyone about it?" 

The members stayed quiet, not daring to look up at the eyes of the judges. The judges whom they used to trust on whole heartedly, but now they just felt  _fear_. Judge Raon slammed his fist on the table, startling the angels, and demanded, "Tell us the truth! Or you can join your pathetic and weak leader into exile" Then, something happened that none of the members thought would happen, a betrayal. "No, we did not know.... if we did ... wouldn't we have come to tell you?" Ravi's voice filed the air, a sick feeling of tension rising. "Why should we trust you?" Judge Hester asked, her eyes glaring holes at them. "We're different, N has always been the weak one no? Switching from combat to bow and arrow, always believing in equality, and you should've known, after all... he was made by the spirit of Rain, who just happens to be one the daughters of Aphrodite" **(this isn't true I just changed it to that for the sake of the plot)**  Ravi said, his voice deep and showing no signs of remorse. Leo's eyes widened at each word, his breathing becoming irregular. Why was Ravi doing this? Did he lie about caring for him.... this entire time? 

The judges seemed to be satisfied with the answer and looked at each other before nodding in approval. "very well then... the judgement on N will be held later on tonight... you can assist or not..." Judge Lou said and walked out of the room, followed by the other two. The room was quiet and the tension was thick. They waited a while before they completely knew they were alone, it was until then that Leo lashed out. He shoved Ravi onto the floor and he straddled him, a silver dagger with a gold grip pointed to his neck. "What were you doing!? Why did you lie?! Do you not care for N hyung?!" Leo snarled, pressing the tip of the silver sharp point onto Ravi's neck. Ravi paid no mind to the sting on his neck as he responded, "I do care for him! Why else do you think i sadi that?! How can we take care of him if we're exiled too?! We can watch him from the distance, we can protect him" Ravi then shoved Leo off of him, causing him to bump onto the table. Leo's eyes were flared red, his wings spread at full height, and his grip on the dagger never loosening. "hyung think about it.. Ravi's right, if he didn't say that then we'd be exiled too and it'll be most likely they'll separate us and how can we look after N? After each other?" Ken reasoned, helping Ravi up to his feet. Leo's fighting stance faltered and his wings were tucked in his back. "hyung, can't we see N hyung?" Hyuk's soft and shaky voice asked, breaking the other's hearts. 

"We can't hyukkie..... we can't..." Hongbin replied, his chest curling in pain as he stifled his sobs. 

*~*

N felt a dash of deja vu as he stared at the white cell, his wrists burning with the silver. He felt weak, alone, and just tired. He wondered if Kris felt the same way. He didn't move when he heard the door open and the clink of footsteps inching closer and closer. "N, your judgement will be held today, your punishment will be far more worse than Kris' and Tao's and Luhan's, as you have comitted far more worse... you've told the boy about us, you've revealed yourself, and you even had the decency to show yourself to other mortals..." judge Hester's cold voice spoke, making goosebumps run on N's spine. He looked up with dull eyes, but the look quickly changed to pain when seeing Seungkwan and Jin stand there with unreadable faces. N tried to speak up but his voice was hoarse due to not having used it in so long. "Jin here, has worried us too and well, due to both of you being connected as both of you were created by the same spirit of rain, we have to run some... tests on him... and well, those tests aren't at all pretty... so this is an example to you n, that you shouldn't have done what you did... and now, Seungkwan is going to take off your golden band" Judge Raon said. N's eyes widened. The golden band. The band that ranked him as leader. Seungkwan's bretah hitched as he leaned down and disconnected the band with the tool, he looked up at N and N knew. N knew how he felt. "It's okay... I'm fine.." N whispered, his voice shaky. Seungkwan turned around, not wanting N to see the tears threatening to spill. 

The judges paid no attention to it. They simply left the angel alone in the cold room, not even bothering to let him say goodbye to his friends. The friends he had doomed. 

*~*

"This man... rebelled against the rules and revealed himself in front of the boy"

N ignored the many glances thrown at him as he stood in front of the judges. "Leader N... is this true?" Judge Hester said. N looked up and managed to catch the sight of his team standing in the front row amongst the other angels watching him with scared eyes. N only looked back at the judges and nodded, "yes.. it's true". A cry of protest was heard from the crowds of angels as they all began taking sides.

"N IS INNOCENT! HE DID NO HARM!"

"PUNISH HIM!! "

N only closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was useless... he'd earn a punishment.. or even worse.. death.  
  


"SILENCE!! N IS TO BE PUNISHED FOR THE CRIME COMITTED!" Judge Raon screamed. Everyone went quiet. One of the most loved angels was to be.... punished? N closed his eyes once more, remembering the smile Hakyeon wore. Yeah.. it was worth it. "Your punishment..... to live as the boy you revealed yourself ... you shall be reincarnated as him and live through the same harshments he went through.. but much worse.." Judge Hester ordered, making everyone gasp. "And your team... shall not meet you whatsoever.. or they'll be punished as well.." N felt tears brim at his eyes as he looked at his team that he loved so much. Leo, Ken, Ravi, Hongbin, Hyuk. The team stared back with equally bloodshot eyes as unspoken thoughts went through their mind. Guards went to take his arms and led them through the door as he rasped out, "Wait.. wait... let me say bye...". The guards ignored him as they closed the door.

The next day, he found himself in front of a pure white door with the judges behind him. "When you walk through this door.... you'll wake up as the boy..." Judge Lou said. N turned to look at them as he said, "Please.. let my team off the hook.. they had no participation in this.... that's all i want to say... " and began walking towards the door. "Wait!" Judge Hester yelled. N turned around in slight shock, what did she want to say? "Don't you regret it? Going against us.. just to see the boy? A mortal?" She said, staring at N with a look that he knew, that not even she wanted him to go. N smiled at her and shook his head. "No, I don't.." He said before taking a deep breath and walking out the door.

*~*

The next days were horrendous. Heaven without N was like a fish without water. The air was dull and gloomy, the things left with color no longer brightened the heavens, and the favorite tree of the ex-angel was torn down. The angels that had connections to N suddenly disappeared. Jin was the first to go, now he was gone, Seungkwan left next, he was removed from the office staff and he never appeared again. Some of the angel guards like Jisoo and Ryeowook were taken away from their title, and they too disappeared. Eunji the head doctor had left without a word, not even the judges knew where she went. It was worse for the boys, they had to wait years until they could see their precious hyung again. 

Hyuk laid on his bed, his eyes red and puffy from sobbing. Hongbin caressed his hair, trying to copy the way N would do it to calm the angel. Hyuk gently took Hongbin's hand off and he laid on his back to stare at the ceiling, his breathing coming out in short puffs. "They're directing us to a new kid, maybe then we can go see N again yeah?" Hongbin whispered, ruffling Hyuk's hair. "Hakyeon..." Hyuk whispered, catching Hongbin's attention. "What...?" Hongbin mumbled. "Hakyeon... Cha Hakyeon... not N... not N hyung... just... Cha Hakyeon..." Hyuk whimpered before turning his back towards Hongbin and covering himself with N's blanket. 

*~*

"He's.... he's the same.." 

Ken whispered, his voice cracking. The boys watched N, or just Hakyeon now, while he curled into himself. 

Hakyeon winced when hearing the loud crashes, the loud screams coming from both his parents. He hated these nights. His dad would come home drunk, with the lingering smell of a woman's perfume. His mother quickly picking up the scent and confronting him about it, only to get a face full of arguments and screaming. 

The boys watched with sad hearts as he curled up in his mattress on the floor, grabbing the blanket he had besides the mattress to wrap himself up with it. Hakyeon whimpered as he counted quietly, hoping to get a distraction. 

"1.....2.....3......4.....5-" 

_"WHY DONT YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?! "_

"-6....7.....8....9...10" 

_"STOP IT!! STOP IT!!!!"_

"-11....12.....13...14...15" 

Hakyeon hadn't known when it stopped. In fact he was glad. The little 8 year old found himself crying quietly again. "Go to sleep Hakyeonnie...... go to sleep....." he whispered, clutching his ears as he hummed to himself. It was then that they couldn't take it anymore. 

"Yeonnie?" 

Hakyeon sat up as he heard the soft voice ring through the room. "Who's there!!!" He said, clutching the blanket closer to himself. Out of the shadows that the basement had created, five tall figures descended, smiles all plastered on their faces.

"Hello Cha Hakyeon.... we're your new friends!" Ken said. Hakyeon furrowed his eyebrows together as he tried to process the information. "Friends....?" Hakyeon asked, not used to hearing the word or even using the word. He had remembered what friends means it's just...... he never had any. 

"It's okay Hakyeon...! We were sent here to you to keep you safe! To have fun! To play with you! Wouldn't you like that?" Ravi said, trying to hide the slight pain in his voice. Hakyeon shyly nodded as he looked down at his hands. "Don't be shy now..... come on! Let's play!" Ken said with a laugh. 

Hakyeon was pulled out from his excuse of a bed and soon found himself in the middle of a dancing chaos. He giggled seeing a pale stoic man swaying around creating weird gestures with his hands. He started to copy said man and soon found himself engaging more and more with the strangers. 

Once the laughter had died down, Hakyeon had asked, "who are you?" 

"Oh yeah! Sorry Hakyeonnie! My name's Ken!" 

"I'm Ravi!" 

"I'm Hyuk!" 

"My name's Hongbin" 

"My name is Leo" 

Hakyeon smiled and greeted all of them. "Thank you for making me laugh today!" He said with a giggle. They smiled warmly at him, watching the little boy stare at them with happiness. "Time to sleep now Yeonnie" Hyuk said, guiding the boy back to his mattress. The five cringed at the idea of the little boy sleeping on a dirty mattress all alone, but what could they do? 

Hakyeon pouted as he snuggled inside his bed. "You'll still be here tomorrow right...?" Hakyeon asked, feeling worried. The group nodded in response, Hongbin sitting next to him and patting his head. "We'll be here waiting....." Hongbin whispered, softly singing  a lullaby for the little boy to sleep.

_"Butterfly butterfly come fly fly...."_

_*~*_

"The judges.. they're starting to suspect.... we can't keep going to him, at least not in a whole group.." Leo said, rubbing his temple in frustration. "We let go, only one of us can keep going to him" Ken offered, although not even he liked the idea. "It's the safest chance... I guess we can do that" Ravi mumbled and walked towards his room to lock himself in it. "Ravi goes first.." Leo whispered and the others didn't dare to argue. 

So that's what they did... they went one by one. Each one coming back sobbing in Leo's arms. The judges had eventually disbanded them, saying that the job as a guardian angel was too much for them. The reason why they came back was for that. The judges appointed Ravi and Hongbin as guards, Leo and ken as teachers to the guardian angels, and Hyuk as the head doctor to take over Eunji's place. They also met the angel who was the advisor of the judges, the angel who caused destruction upon them. Leo met him, when he was found. Leo hadn't expected it. One minute he was with grown up Hakyeon, the next he was in front of the angel he hated the most. 

_"Hakyeon?!? Hakyeon?!?" He began screaming, hoping that he'd appear. "Leo.... stop screaming he's not here...."_

_Leo turned around, his body shaking in anger as the familiar voice rang in his ears. "What do you want..." he muttered, his fists clenching. "I thought you would've all learned your lessons when Ravi got caught.... but here you are risking your own life for that disgusting boy" the mysterious figure said as he floated towards Leo._

_"Don't you dare call him that!! N was only  trying to take care of Hakyeon!" Leo screamed, stepping away from the floating angel. "N was nothing but a disgrace... I told the higher ups he'd be weak.... he'd fall quickly into the trap...." the angel said, his raspy voice sending shivers through Leo's spine._

_"That's what made N special.... he had the guts to do something none of us could ever do... he stepped up against you... to protect a boy who needed someone.... and you couldn't accept it.... none of you could... why? Because you were all afraid..... you were all afraid of reaching to the children.... and just when they were making progress... you had to destroy it..,." Leo said, his voice shaking with anger. The angel said nothing as the aura around it grew red._

_"N deserved it.... you all deserved it!! But you know what?? I'll let you suffer.... because if you stay with him.... you'll kill him.... he'll die in your own hands.... so you choose Leo.... you either feed your own selfish wish.... or you leave him alone..." the angel said, disappearing. Leo froze, slowly processing what the angel had told him._

_Leo's breathing quickened, the room began to close in itself, trapping him inside. He began screaming. It couldn't be like this. It shouldn't be like this._

_Were the heavens always this cruel?_

_Just because the pure heart of its own angel tried reaching out to someone in need of help?_

_Life was cruel. Life was unfair._

It was until then he decided to turn himself in, he couldn't deal with the pain. He just couldn't. The sight of an oblivious Hakyeon who had N's spirit inside of him was too much for him to bear. He couldn't keep them safe, no matter how much he tried. When the other members found out about his confession, they all turned themselves too. The pain between them was just suffocating them, they needed release. They wanted release. And they got it. The judgement was a blur to them, the only thing they could catch on was that they were planning to torture Hakyeon, but then agian, they weren't sure. 

They walked through the door one by one, and then, they were reborn as their human selves. 

Taekwoon had dreams of a boy calling him hyung. 

Hongbin had dreams of a boy working in a gas station late at night. 

Jaehwan had dreams of a boy being slammed into a wall by his father. 

Sanghyuk had dreams of a boy who was nagging him in a grocery store. 

Wonshik had dreams of a boy who asked him what his favorite color was, he would always reply with "crimson"

When they had gotten jobs in a school of arts, they had witnessed the panic attack of a man who they strangely felt familiar with. As time passed, they came to realize that when they passed by the man or had any sort of contact with him, they would feel a warm yet sad clench in their chest. They had grown fond of him, but they knew he was hiding many things from them. They watched Hakyeon slowly die in front of them, until they got the news that they had found a pale and dead Cha Hakyeon in the medicine room of the hospital. 

They didn't why but when Minhyuk told them, they started to cry. They were surprised themselves, they were never close to Hakyeon, so why were they crying and suffering? 

They never got their answer. After the funeral, years passed and they felt.. empty. However, when they let out their last breath then they knew, they had gotten the answers they already knew, they just simply forgot. Leo walked through the streets, the only reminder of his wings were two scars going down his shoulder blades. "Where are you...?" Leo muttered under his breath, wanting to find his members. Wanting to find N. "Hyung?! HYUNG?!" Leo turned around when hearing the familiar voice, and he let out a cry of joy when seeing Ravi and Hyuk running towards them. The reunion was cut short though, as they were thrown to the ground by two other bodies. "Ken! Hongbin!" They rejoyced in their small group hug, filled with tears and laughter. "Hyung.. have you seen N hyung?" Hyuk asked, wanting nothing more but to be reunited with his leader, his hyung. "No, but we'll find him... I'm sure..." Leo replied. 

And they did. A few weeks later, they were roaming around in the streets that used to be the old house in which Hakyeon lived. Ravi was looking at some knick knacks through the mirror, when something caught his sight. He turned around and his breath hitched, as he watched the fallen angel walk around. He quickly grabbed the others and they all turned to face their leader. Their leader, who had stupidly followed in what he believed in, their leader who had stupidly defended and protected them, their leader who they loved. Ken was the first to break the silence, muttering a soft, "N hyung?"

N turned around abruptly, shocked to hear his name. His eyes widened when seeing his old team. Sudden emotion surged through him, tears pooling in his eyes. The crimson orbs swirled around him and he smiled as he whispered, "Hello"

*~*

Sorry for making you guys wait, I had gotten writer's block for a bit. The last chapter is up next, please comment your opinions on this thanks. I hope this answered some of your questions. Anyway, till next time!  (Also, the boys at the end died and they're in angel form now, so when it said that they let out their last breath it meant the human versions died and the fallen angel forms were released ) 


	12. How it Ended

**This is the LAST chapter of this book officially :P**

**I had so much fun writing this story, despite it being depressing...... sort of? Anyway... enjoy :)**

*~*

Hyuk had been the first to hug N, the first to rejoin the warm embrace of the now fallen angel. N's tears poured down as he gripped the maknae closer to him, the crimson orbs swirling around him. Soon, he felt more arms around him, sending them all toplling on the ground. Laughter and sobbing filled the air as the whole group of ex-angels happily reunited. "I've been waiting for you to come..." N said and ran his fingers through Hyuk's soft hazel hair. "We've been waiting for you too hyung..." Ravi said, his arms circling around N's waist. N giggled and that very sound sent smiles to the other's faces. Even Leo cried harder. "What's wrong Leo..?" N asked, his hand coming to cup Leo's cheek, with Leo leaning onto the touch. "I.... I just missed... you.. s'all" Leo whimpered, his hand gripping N's wrist. N smiled fondly and pulled Leo closer to him. "It's okay.. you don't have to cry anymore... we're together again... nothing will break apart now, we're free" N replied, rubbing soothing circles on Leo's back. Leo flinched however, when N's hand came close to the scar where his wings used to be. 

N, noticing the discomfort, took his hands away and frowned. "I'm sorry Leo, I really am.... you should've stayed.... dammit I should've never done-" before N started rambling, Leo cut him off. "N,  nothing you did was wrong... it's fine, i'll get used to it" Leo said and rubbed N's knuckles with his thumb. N frowned at him before sighing. "hyung.... did you know about us? Being in other mortal's bodies?" Ravi asked. "Yes, I'm the leader of course I knew" N said teasingly and smiled. "What'll happen to him..?" Ken asked quietly, surprising the others. "To who?" Hongbin asked, helping Leo stand up from the ground. "Hakyeon..." Ken mumbled, causing N to freeze. "Don't worry... he's going to be alright.." N reassured, extending his hand and a small swirl of crimson popped out. The members looked at him confused and he smiled, "all the orbs.... they're the kids we've protected..." N said and all of a sudden, crimson orbs flowed out of N's palm, swirling around the fallen angels as they stared at the orbs in wonder. The member's eyes swelled with new tears, feeling the orbs lean into them. N smiled and closed his palm before saying, "Guys let's go meet some people alright?"

*~* 

N led them into a small alleyway before entering an abandoned apartment. "Hyung...?" Hyuk mumbled, clearly frightened as he clung onto N's sweater. N knocked twice before the door opened. The members went quiet, looking at an equally shocked Tao. "Tao..." Leo mumbled, his voice trembling. "hyung..." Tao breathed out, a smile forming in his lips. Hongbin threw himself at the fallen angel, a relieved sigh being let out. "I missed you so much" Hongbin said, pulling back to look at him again. "Tao, who's there?" they heard a voice from behind only to see Luhan rubbing his eye. Luhan froze when seeing them before cracking a smile, "you joined us now huh?" the two were met with tight hugs by all of them and a sound of laughter rose in the air, the warm feeling ungulfing N's heart. "Hey Luhan, do you know-" N turned around to look at the leader who stood there with a blank face. Now it was Kris turn to fall down, as he was tackled down by the rest except Leo who just hugged him after the others had released him. 

The ex-angels gathered in the apartments as they all rushed to catch up. "Yeah, life's good here on earth... we're much closer to the kids ... nothing can stop us now" Tao said and smiled. "Really...? You mean we're free...?" Hongbin asked, the feeling of relief swelling in his chest. Kris nodded and leaned forward, a sudden dull look on his face as he asked, "Our team... how.... how are they?" Sudden tension fell, and the four fallen angels turned to look at the other five, who held upset faces. "They... We haven't been able to talk to any of them.. but, they're not doing well.." Hyuk said, his eyes looking down at the ground. "How bad..." Kris whispered, his voice trembling as he shut his eyes. "They're.... they've separated... the guardian angel industrial has been shut off, not entirely but the original groups have been closed off and they just check on the kids by survielance instead of actual presence..." Leo explained, recalling the memory of how the angels watched the portal be shut off forever. Tao sniffled as he subconsciously looked up. Luhan clenched his jaw and rested his head on his hands. Kris said nothing, but his eyes said it all. It held regret, anger, sadness, and jaded. With a long sigh, he stood up and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sometimes I wish I wasn't so foolish.." he whispered, and N recognized the tone. 

The same tone used when they were in the cells back in the judges office. "Kris-" N began, standing up to hug the leader when Kris suddenly threw the table that held the drinks down. The others, startled, looked up at the leader who had flushed cheeks and angry tears flowing down. "If i had just... If i didn't overstep my boundaries... I could've ... I could've protected them... I could've just.... maybe things could've turned out better...." Kris said, and the others could see how broken he had become. Kris suddenly walked towards Ken and gripped his shoulders. "And Suho? Is he still okay? Is he still there?" He asked, the tone of hope evident in his voice. Ken suddenly averted his eyes, a whimper heard in the back of his throat. "Ken...? What about Suho?" Kris asked, his tone calmer. The boys looked at Ken for an answer, as he and Suho had both worked in the same rank after the separation. "H-He.... I... hyung..... I don't know where he is...." Ken admitted, the pain clawing his body. A choked sob from Tao broke the silence, while Luhan caught the falling boy and Kris stumbled. "He's..... He's not there anymore...?" Kris mumbled, his eyes widened as he fell back on the couch. "Why didn't you tell me?!" Ravi sneered, as he was close to Ken. "I-I ... we weren't allowed to talk about it... you kow what happens if they catch you" Ken whispered back. 

N stood there, his fingers tremblings and a shocked look on his face. He couldn't think, he couldn't feel. Suho was gone..? "You all are going to explain to me what has been going on in heaven.. and I want to know everything" N commanded, an angry glare being shot to his members by himself. 

*~*

"The guardian angel industry was shut off, ever since the judges got put in a higher rank. they managed to convince the higher ups in taking it off, and well we were separated and had our each individual ranks.... the portal to Earth was shut off, and they took care of the kids by watching them through the mirrors.... we weren't allowed to talk to anyone about what happened to the guardian angels.... it was as if it never existed... the judges would take angels away too.... I'm guessing they took Suho too.... " Hongbin explained, being the only one able to form understandable words. "No one knows what they did to them or where they went... we just know that they never came back... and they only took them when they went out of place.... like if an angel warrior went out of their quarters and went to a doctor angel's quarter then they'd be taken... or if they simply acted rebellious or broke any of the rules they'd be taken away... they took Hwasa and Minho for going out of the campus after work hours... they told us they had wanted to meet with Jonghyun and Moonbyul, they never did see them again..." Hongbin said, swallowing the lump in his throat. " Suho did something like that..." Ken whispered, raising his head from where it rested on Luhan's shoulder. "He... he was absolutely distraught when they took Sehun away from him as well as the others... you know how smitten he is for the youngest... he loves them all so much and he couldn't handle the separation.. Tao and Luhan know how he was when Kris was banished... so imagine him with no one from his group with him" Ken explained, remembering how heartwrenching Suho's sobs were."We managed to sneak out thanks to V's help, he had worked in the offices of the Gods and Godesses, so he could easily pass through the quarters.. but we had to leave Hakyeon one by one because the borders were being heavily guarded... we couldn't risk being caught... until Leo turned himself in when Judge Hester appeared in front of him... that's when we turned ourseles in.... we were taken to another portal, and the rest well, you know...." Hongbin said. The others couldn't believe it. The heavens had turned into a tyranny kingdom. "It's funny.." Ravi spoke up, catching the attention from the others. 

"The mortals think that heaven is truly a beautiful place, where the worries and pain all disappear... but they don't know... they don't know that we suffer just as much as they do here..." Ravi said. "I was happy.... I truly was happy when I woke up in heaven.... I thought I'd be okay... I had great people around me and I thought I'd never have to worry...." Hongbin said, "It's all a lie, the pain remained...." N watched the others as his heart clenched in pain. "We can't help any of them... and that's what hurts me the most" Hyuk said, the helplessness in his voice sending shivers in everyone's arms. " Heaven is forbidden to the fallen angels.... you pass the borders, you die" Tao said, his voice void of any emotion. Kris says nothing as he stands up and leaves the room, nobody winces at the sound of a door slamming shut. 

*~*

With N being the only one who knows how to function in modern day society (Hyuk and Hongbin had lived in the 1800s....) the others followed the leader as if they were little sheep. N didn't care, he enjoyed having his members with him. Something that Kris, Luhan and Tao couldn't have sadly. They made it work somehow, they managed to find stable places to live in and acted as humans. Having a job, having human friends, and having normal human lives, they felt as if they could finally be happy. And in a way they were. That was until N, or Cha Hakyeon, saw a frantic Kris, or Wu Yifan, running towards him while he taught the teenagers the parabola formula. "N- Hakyeon..." Kris stuttered out, shooting the teenagers a glare as they stared at the weird panting man who leaned against the doorframe. "Yifan, I'm working-" N tried to say until Kris cut him off, "Suho.... he's here...." Kris said, making N freeze. "Suho..?" N whispered, before looking at his class and saying, "Uh... please work on the handout I'll be out in the hallway for a bit" N said and walked out with Kris behind. " What do you mean Suho's here?! H-How... is he a fallen angel? Did he recognize you?! Did he see you? where is he?!" N asked, a happy glint in his eyes as he eagerly wanted answers so he could see his sunbae. "Yeah well, he isn't exactly Suho anymore.... Kim Junmyeon to be exact...he's a high school student... here" Kris explained, N burst out laughing as he saw Kris was so close to peeing his pants. "Why..? You think it's too son to see your best friend? It been over 2 thousand years Kris" N teased. "Yeah but... I don't know... he doesn't remember me but... what if he just.... when he passes away, do you think he'll resurrect as a fallen angel? Will he be able to look me in the eye if he does turn into a fallen angel?" Kris asked. N shook his head and nudged Kris' head with his fist gently. "Knucklehead.. he'll be overjoyed to see you again... now, our job right now is to protect him.." N said, suddenly turning serious. 

Kris nodded in agreement and replied, "What are we going to do then? Have contact with him or just watch him from afar, like... stalkers...." N scoffed at him and walked back into the classroom, leaving a shunned Kris behind. 

*~*

The fallen angels stared at the boy who sat under a bench while reading a book. "I can't believe that's Suho-hyung.." Hyuk muttered, taking in the appearance of the boy. "I know right? It's weird..." Hongbin said with a pout. "Yah, you've seen Hakyeon in this situation how come you don't find that weird?" N said with an 'ahjumma' tone. "Well geez... we were close to you hyung and well, we've never had any special bond with Suho hyung..." Ravi explained and smirked when seeing Tao trip and fall on his face in front of Suho, who looked startled. "They're idiots I swear..." Ken said with a laugh. "Shut up guys.. let them be together for a bit yeah? Let's go" Leo said and walked off, having already grown used to not having wings anymore. "Wait.... hyung.... do you think the other angels will reincarnate as humans? and then become fallen angels?" Hongbin asked, stopping N from walking. "Why would you think that?" N asked. "Well, I mean that's what happened to you and us... it couldn't have happened to Kris, Luhan, and Tao since the banishments weren't as harsh as they were before....and didn't Tao say they met another fallen angel that reincarnated as human? " Hongbin reasoned, N finding it more and more logical. "Probably... but let's not think too much about it yeah?" N said, patting Hongbin's back and joining the others once more. 

Hongbin frowned and turned around, seeing Kris and Luhan watch Suho (Junmyeon...?) and Tao play around before running towards his friends. 

*~*

"He's dead..." Luhan whispered, a scared look in his eyes as he trembled. Hyuk embraced him and tried to comfort him, but Luhan shoved him away. "g-guys ... what if... what if he doesn't reincarnate? what if dies forever? " Luhan whimpered. N shot up and walked towards him, gripping onto his shoulders and said, "Don't say that Luhan... don't say it... we don't know for sure okay? I can't promise you that he'll become a fallen angel... this is just a theory... but just in case he doesn't, you can't let that affect you.. he wouldn't want you to be like this okay? You have to stay strong" Luhan stared at N with wide teary eyes. "You have to be strong... for him.." N said, clear determination in his voice. Luhan nodded and leaned against the leader, a sickening whimper emitting from his throat. The members watched their leader, feeling a sense of deja vu hit them. Was this how he held them? Was this how he held them when they couldn't handle the pressures? Was this how he showed his love for them? Leo leaned his head on his hands, the familiar feeling of helplessness filling him. 

Memories rushed through his brain, pictures of N smiling at him in their angel classes, to N crying in the court. "Leo hyung...?" he turned to look at Ravi, who held a look of concern. "Im okay..." Leo whispered, looking up at the two huddled together. N hadn't let go of Luhan, who was a sobbing mess. It was then that Leo noticed the crimson orbs flowing out of N's palms. "Hyung..?" Ravi muttered, to which N held up his hand and shook his head. The crimson orbs filled the room, the light emitting the room instantly. Luhan reached out to one and giggled when the orb welcomed his arms. N smiled and said, "You see...? You'll be okay..." It was until then they realized, N had truly found what he wanted. 

Peace, love, care, and freedom. 

Freedom. 

All he had ever wanted was freedom. 

It was a rather depressing moment when they found out, but they realized that just at the moment, N had revealed who he truly was. A leader. A child caretaker. An  _angel_. An angel having suffered for doing something right and punished for all the wrong reasons. Hongbin reached out to them, but Ken gripped his arm to prevent him from going further. "We're okay... we're okay.." N whispered, holding tightly onto Luhan who snuggled closer to him. And for the first time in their afterlife, they felt the genuine raw emotion of relief and safety. They would not lose it. Not again. 

*~*

When Suho arrived, they had all welcomed him with opened arms. Tears of reunion and happiness filled everyone's eyes. Suho especially. He looked so pale and fragile and he had cried when not feeling his wings. Nevertheless, they helped him heal. Suho had struggled at first, he wanted to see his other members and he was mad at Kris at first but they made up at the end. N watched them with a smile, they were reunited now and maybe the others weren't with them, but they'll be waiting. That's what he was sure of, they'd wait. N felt someone pat his shoulder and he turned around to see Leo smiling at him. N returned the smile and turned around, a feeling of warmth in his chest. 

"Hyung! The orbs!" 

N turned back and smiled, the red swirls dancing around in the air. "They're happy..." N said, smiling at them. "What do you mean...?" Hyuk asked, suddenly coming behind him. "Well, I mean whenever I have strong emotions they come out and well, they just swirl around... you see now? They're dancing and whenever I cried, they'd float..." N explained, gently nudging one of the orbs. Leo hummed and held one between his fingers. "They're cute..." Ken said, giggling as they floated around him. Hongbin and Ravi were too busy playing with them to notice but N closed his eyes in peace, the warmth never leaving. He leaned against Leo's embrace as he felt content. He looked up at the sky, the feeling of remorse and regret no longer evident in him. He sat straighter, confidence was a new feeling to him. He no longer had to cower in fear, worry, and panic. He looked back at his team who smiled at him with reassuring eyes. N looked down at his palms, seeing all the little wisps of the souls that remained of the children.  _Their_  children. N closed his eyes in happiness and hugged them closer to his chest. 

"You're all safe now..... we'll be okay.." 

He said and felt secure arms hug his waist, along with the presence of protection around him. "What do we do now hyung?" Ken asked, looking at him with wondering eyes. N turned back to Kris, who was smiling at his old teemmates fondly, and said, "we'll wait Ken... we'll recieve the others with warm arms... we'll create a new heaven.. a place where they can be free..... a place where they can truly be happy." Silence flowed in but N didn't need to look at them to know if they agreed, just by Leo's grip on his waist made him get the message. They all stared at the sunset, a cliche event that seemed right. "Hyung..... look" Hyuk said, pointing down at the street. N walked to where Hyuk pointed and a smile spread on his lips. "Oh my gosh..." N said, covering his hand in happiness. "Guys look!" Hongbin called out, having followed his leader too. The others crowded around and they recognized the fallen angel roaming in the streets. "Jin hyung!" Tao called out and they watched Jin look up at them with wide eyes holding undshed tears. 

A smiole of relief spread on Jin's face as he waved. "Let's go!" Ken said, excited to see his best friend there, and he hopped down. N and Kris stood still on the building, watching the others run towards Jin. They turned to look at each other and smiled, "You're right N.... we truly are free" Kris said and joined the others, leaving N to stand alone. He looked down at the others fondly, watched them smile, watched them laugh and cry tears of happiness. The oerwhelming sensation made him burst into tears. He walked down slowly, and opened his arms for Jin to run into them. The two hugged and the others rejoiced. The small droplets of water fell on them, but they didn't care. Instead, N felt a warmth spread in his body and Jin felt the same. They both looked up and in the clouds, they could see thier creater, their mother, looking down at them with a warm smile. The sight was cut short, as they were tackled down with hugs. 

They laughed and laughed, the raw emotion never leaving. They may have been banished from the heavens, but they were forever and always be angels. The angels who fell into the right path. The angels who followed their leader, the angels who were released from tyranny in the most painful ways. The angels who despite being through hell and back, they stayed strong. The angels who will never be separated. 

and N, the angel who had the courage to stand up to those who stood for the wrong. 

*~*

N laid against the trees, looking down at a book, a journal. A gift given to him by Jisoo, a girl who had befriended him in the orphanage. He smiled at the photos, running his fingers over them carefully. The photo consisted of N with his team members, smiling happily. He roamed through the pictures, each one of them with fond memories. "Hyung!" He perked up and smiled, seeing Ravi waving his arms at him, a grin displayed on his face. N waved back, a giggle escaping through his lips. "What are you doing here alone?" N looked besides himself and jumped to see Leo sitting next to him. "I'm just going through some photos.." he replied, resuming to the pictures in his hand. Leo hummed and took some from his hand. "Hm... interesting..." Leo teased, tapping N's nose fondly. "Come on let's play~" Leo whined, draping himself over N's body. N whined but stood up anyway, stretching his bodies as the joints were stiff from sitting. "Alright I'm up, I'm up.." he said and let out an 'oof' as he was pulled by.... Hyuk? N turned around and glared at a laughing Leo but he had little time before he felt himself fall on a pile of leaves. He lifted himself up and scowled at his laughing members. "yah! Respect your elders!" N screamd playfully and ran after a screeching Hyuk. He almost caught the biy's shirt if it weren't for Hongbin lifting him in the air by his waist. N whined as he was flailed around- violently in his opinion- by the second youngest. "Hyung! You look weird!" Ken said as he stared at N who's hair was tossled and all over the place. 

N whined and tried putting his hair back in place before he was let down by Hongbin. "You're mean" N pouted and huffed at the ground, getting cooes by the others. "cute" Ravi mumbled before helping the leader stand up. "We should get going... the others might get a hissy fit if we're gone for too long" Leo said, taking some leaves off of N's shirt. "Oh yeah huh... Kris might actually make Hyuk pee his pants this time" Hongbin teased, nudging Hyuk's shoulder. The maknae scowled and crossed his arms, "I am not scared of him..." he demanded but the others didn't believe him. "Alright guys, Leo's right we should get going now" N said and the others began to walk towards the busy streets of Seoul. N wtached from the back at his members, who were childishly playing around, and he smiled again. He was surely blessed to have frineds, brothers even, like them. He looked down at his palm and smiled, the crimson orbs swirling around once more. 

"Are you guys happy?" N whispered, looking at the orbs dancing around. He chuckled and shook his head, walking faster to join the others and the crimson orbs following close behind

*~*

The end~~!!! Comment your opinions on this story and thanks to everyone who supporeted this book, you guys are amazing!

I legit was thinking in turning this story into a long chaptered book but at the end, I decided on keeping it short.... didn't work out too well since I had to make extra chapters but it's okay~!I enjoyed writing this story so much and honestly I'll miss it.... this Angel AU is really clever in my opinion and I got inspired after looking at fanarts tbh. Anyway... I hope this chapter was goo enough and satisfied you all. 

So adios guys! Hope you enjoyed the last chapter of Crimson Tears. 

(Btw, Crimson Tears was the title because the crimson orbs would come out when N would cry due to sadness at the beginning so that's why I called it Crimson Tears, to symbolize the feeling of N with the orbs) 

Also, (Time for self promotion.... ) if you enjoyed this story, I have another angel AU called "The Job of A Carrier" and hopefully you'll like that too! It's VIXX fanfiction too cuz I'm vixx trash :P 


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